“Glorify me!”
Yelled the beetle
Before he was squashed
By old Mr. Cheadle.
So if you think you’re important
You’d best think again
Or else be on the lookout
For little old men.
Tag Archives: Poetry
A Warning To Insects, Politicians, And Others Of Their Kind (AKA Welcome To The Watchlist Thou Crappy Poet)
Filed under Poems
Racial PSA
Some claim my speech invalid
Because my skin is pallid.
Some think you can’t be right
If your skin blends into night.
But what we all agree upon
Be we dark or pale
Is that we’re superior to
The common goose or quail.
Filed under Poems
The Cold, Desserted Street: A Trump Administration Report
The road is cold and lonely,
The street is chill and bare,
And the temperature is cold
On the abandoned thoroughfare.
The avenue’s deserted
And the frost clings to my hair
As I concisely summarize
That ice is all that’s present there.
The lane’s devoid of people
And our breath hangs in the air.
The thermometer’s relative lowness
Means to be outside few apparently dare.
The cul-de-sac is frigid
And devoid of folk, I swear.
It’s frosted and filled with people
In such quantity as those whom about this poem still do care.
Filed under Poems
Jack Frost Won’t Nip Your Nose Anymore
Chestnut’s roasting
On an open fire,
But you know all about that.
What I don’t know
Is why you thought
Chestnut was a good name for a cat.
Filed under Poems
I Like Trees More Anyway
Today is the day
The trees come inside
And the children go out
In the ice and the snow.*
Why we bring in trees
Is a mystery to me
And why we take back the kids
I don’t rightfully know.
*If you looked at this asterisk
You may not be from Minnesota
Filed under Poems
Yes, I’m White. Why Do You Ask?
I played some Chinese checkers
And no one batted an eye.
I enjoyed some Chinese chess
And no one asked me why.
I played some Chinese backgammon
And still they let me enter
But you play Chinese Russian Roulette
And they throw you out of the Chinese cultural center.
Filed under Poems
Face It… You Messed Up
I hired a plastic surgeon…
What a travesty! Where to begin?
Next time that I need fixing
I’ll pick a surgeon made of skin.
Filed under Poems
And It Was On Sale Too!
Sometimes its hard
To find gifts for a friend,
But this week I stumbled
On the be all and end.
I’ve a friend with a fetish
For girls who’ve petite,
Dainty, smooth, delicate,
And sensual feet.
I bought him a 35-inch
Yardstick, which I think is neat
Because he will enjoy
The three unusually-small feet.
Filed under Poems
What Happened To The Elder Gods, Vol. 1
A chicken divine
Made entirely of gold
With a mind to cure cancer
And which never gets old
That makes a girl fall in love
And a man squeal like a dork
Looks as lovely as can be
As I stab it with my fork.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 