One day in ye olde Boston faire
Some guys had a tea party there.
Then some bears mauled them… mean!
33 to 14
And yeah, the analogy ends there.
Tag Archives: Postaday
If Only The British Had An Army Of Sentient Bears, America Might Never Have Existed #ThingsFootballTaughtMe
Filed under Poems
Lazy Evening… Sue Me
Sitting by the fire
And my Seahawks won today.
Long day, short poem.
Filed under Poems
Morning At The Vineyard
It’s morning at the vineyard
And the weather’s looking fine!
We sing hurrah and pick syrah
By bunches off the vine.
There’s Malbec for our jelly
And cabernet for wine,
Filling bucket after bucket
With pickers numbering nine.
My girl may have partaken
Of a bottle from last year.
The leaves stay green and limber
Though its fruit will disappear.
With truck beds full and spirits high
We loose a mirthful cheer!
Now we’re on the highway home
With the pickers we hold dear.
Tomorrow we’ll de-stem the lot
And barrel it to wait
Until next year’s excursion
Or ‘til 2028.
It’s a family tradition
So we all participate,
Bottling mornings in the vineyard,
Packing memories by the crate.
Filed under Poems
Let’s Go Brandon
The economy’s so deep in the tanks
That starving kids in Santiago
Are offering prayers of thanks
That they weren’t born in Chicago.
Meanwhile, the Mormons of Utah
And the Amish of Pennsylvania
Are saying “we got to scoot, yah”
And moving to Albania.
Filed under Poems
Now You Know Why DeerDon’t Use iPhones
There once was a buck from Melrose
Who smelled something sweet with his nose.
His friends said “That crap’ll
“Most oft be an apple.
“Forget it. Let’s go out and win does.”
Filed under Poems
That Went Whale…
There once was a lovely young seal
Who captured my sea-mammal heart.
She had an adorable squeal
That made all my fantasies start.
I asked her to go for a drink with me
At a hip new place called “Chez Rubbing”.
But I scared her away. I’d forgotten
That seal babes aren’t fans of clubbing.
Filed under Poems
Great Historical Figures Deserve Better Than This, But I Wrote It Anyway
There once was a mom from Calcutta
Who was sweeter than suga or butta.
Even she had no mercy
For those born in Jersey
So Jersey boys pray to King Tutta.
Filed under Poems
The Taste Of Home
For every sandwich ever made,
For every stand with lemonade,
For every pizza baked at home
In Tuscaloosa or in Rome,
For all the cream we ever whipped,
All the coffee ever sipped,
I dedicate this meal for you:
Gummy worm salad and “mystery” stew.
Filed under Poems
This Is Why Nobody Bought My Bond Script
Yesterday is faded;
Tomorrow will never come.
Both of these also apply
When I describe your mum.
Filed under Poems
I’m Like Mario, But Not As Famous Or Italian Or As Irrationally Compelled To Hit My Head On Boxes
Today my shower broke
And it sprayed everywhere.
The hose that moved the water
Had ripped a mighty tear
So I went to Home Depot
And bought a fixy thing
With a non-torn doohickey
And an intact rubber ring.
I screwed it on the spiggot
Where the water starts to pour
But with the new doohickey
The flow’s not limited anymore
And it makes an awesome shower,
Like emptying ten semi trucks
Full of water. One more reason
Why life in California sucks!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 