It had an extra leg, I think,
And several extra eyes.
I don’t know how it got into my drink.
Oh look at that… it flies!
Tag Archives: Postaday
I’m Not Even Going To Apologize
Sometimes dogs are happy.
Sometimes dogs are sad.
You wanted a clever poem?
Well today, that’s just too bad.
Filed under Poems
Self-Inflicted Problems
Coffee and tea
With my good friend Cindy.
Coffee and cake
With my other friend Jake.
Coffee and porn
With my buddy Bjorn.
Coffee and grub
At the insomniac’s club.
Filed under Poems
They Have Strong Legs in Mexico
I sang “dropkick me Jesus
“Through the goal posts of life.”
My Mexican gardener is very literal.
It’s caused us some strife.
Filed under Poems
D-I-Why
For fourteen dollars and fifteen hours
I can buy some wood and plastic towers
And with the help of a hammer, saw,
Electric drill, and my guitaw
I can make a TV stand
That I created by my own hand.
For fifteen dollars and sixteen minutes
I can buy a stand already finished.
I’ll assemble it with an alan wrench,
Then maybe also build a bench.
But the pride of doing is better than haste.
Besides, can’t let those towers go to waste!
Filed under Poems
In Defense of Rhyme
There are those who tell me
That a poem that rhymes
Is unnescessary.
There are those who say
A poem that rhymes
Is of the devil
Or the patriarchy
Or “kind of stringent, don’t you think?”
Their tellings and sayings
Spool around the cellar
Of an ivory tower
Whose black horses
And cakes which are a lie
No longer echo
In the halls of our great uncles.
Confusion is their currency.
Paragraphs
Are
Their
Playthings.
I do not understand this poem.
Neither do you.
I just wrote it to show ’em,
Figuratively, who’s who.
World War Three
If we go to war with Russia,
Whether Putin’s fault or ours
It will be a lengthy battle
Between some major world powers.
But if we go to war with China,
Then China would be mad
Cause we’d send a bull to all their shops
And wreck ’em pretty bad.
Filed under Poems
1/16 TSP of Nostalgia
I remember the days of yore
When if you made a call
You could not use the internet.
No you couldn’t. Not at all.
I remember the olden days
When a prune was a “dried plum,”
And when Superhero movies
Were as tacky as they’d come.
If you complain about the future,
These are the comforts you should seek.
Besides these three things, however,
Yeah… The future’s kinda bleak.
Filed under Poems
This Is The Crap I Write At 11:20
The little box on my watch
That tells me the date
Is taunting me with
What might have been my fate,
For it says “23,”
But it’s halfway away
Towards the “24” sign
That means it’s the next day.
I think I’m in meltdown,
To have my mind be so blank
For two days in a week.
I have job security to thank.
And for those East of Cali,
Who missed today’s rhymes:
If I could I’d email you
A cage full of mimes.
Filed under Poems
An American Traveler
There once was a van-living hoarder
Who crossed the Canadian border.
He lost his way,
So he asked a cop “eh?”
The cop figured all was in order.
And so the directionless dude
Asked locals who were eating food.
They said “bla bla bluh.”
The van-guy asked “huh,”
And found himself viciously booed.
And so the van-guy found his way
Back to Where-He-Was-From, USA.
There’s a moral somewhere,
But you probably don’t care,
And it’s probably better that way.
Filed under Poems
