We stayed up late
Playing D&D.
Yay for my players
But woe for readers (aka thee).
Tag Archives: Postaday
Also, We Had To Use The Pythagorean Theorem To Calculate Burrowing Speed, So We Are Nerdier Than Thee
Filed under Poems
Geolo-Gee Whiz!
They say imitation is the highest form of flattery
But I’m not sure about that though;
In my opinion, the highest form of flattery
Would have to be a plateau.
Filed under Poems
What Google Taught Me About History
The dinosaurs roamed the earth
Until God said “Here’s Wifi”
And then they stopped jumping cactuses
And proceeded to die.
Filed under Poems
But Hey, Four Rhymes!
As the sun sets in the evening
And the frogs croak merrily
I sit upon a bed and write
A poem, verily.
When read aloud it would be best
To speak most airily
For the effort I put in could be
Described as “barely”.
Filed under Poems
My First Sponsor!
Dear readers, it gives me great Pride(tm) that my blog, a long-time proponent of mediocrity in all forms, has chosen to partner with America’s favorite soft drink:
PIDD!
PIDD! (or Performance Inhibiting Drug Drink) has been taking the world by storm (consensually, of course). Inspired by brands like Disney, Bud Light, and OceanGate, PIDD! is sinking its teeth into all the things that once made you happy like:
The NBA (Nubile Boys of America)
MMA (Male Maidens Association)
UPS (Un-Penissing Service)
UN (United Nations)
And many more!
PIDD! is the only soft drink that makes you softer in both body and mind. It helped Lia Thomas become the first man to win the NCAA women’s 500m freestyle, helped Caitlyn Jenner become Glamour Magazine’s first male Woman of the Year, and now it can help your children become anything we want them to be!
So just like Luke Skywalker, Indiana Jones, James Bond, and the other heroes of your childhood, crack open a can of PIDD! (or pour a lukewarm glass of inner-city tap water) and let’s toast a future where men don’t have to stay that way.
See Also: “See”, “Sea”, “C”, “Si”…
If I could have dinner with anyone
From any point in history
I would choose the guy who decided
How to spell the animal “Bee”.
Filed under Poems
How About A Good Humbling?
I sorta hope the next disease
That brings the whole world to its knees
Can break the part of DNA’s lock
That makes “important” people talk.
Filed under Poems
Is Giving Them The Finger Still Rude If They’re Missing One?
A bunch of years ago we said
“Hey King, screw your royal head”
And dumped a hunch of tea into
A bay to say “Bugger off to you.”
Now I think that united spirit
Should say to those who care to hear it
“You’re free to use 2:00 AM fireworks
“But if you do you’re also jerks.”
Filed under Poems
One Peaceful Day In The Country
Tonight we celebrate the fact
That those who bought the fireworks
Are saving them for tomorrow’s main act
And thus are not going “boom“ like jerks.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 