I think they should have a Ghostbusters
Where they find a haunted house
But they’re not allowed to cleanse it
‘Cause some fat chick in a blouse
Hears some old white men are coming
And they’re going to exercise
And she wants no part of that.
Then the ghosts come and she dies.
Filed under Poems
The big bad wolf went down to the coop
Where the farmer said “There’s 38 genders.”
The wolf ain’t ate no chickens so far
But he ate the chicken tenders.
Filed under Poems
Today we are thankful for immigrants
Who come here to become a winner.
Without them we’d have to fly to Turkey
To have our traditional dinner.
Filed under Poems
Apple sent me their terms and conditions
But my wife said “You don’t have to read it.”
So I listened to my wife
And now my eternal life…
Well, turns out I have to concede it.
Filed under Poems
There was a rude doctor
Who played a card game.
His deck featured ducks
And was pretty lame,
Almost as bad as
The Cowboys’ quarterback.
Yes, I can confirm
Dick doc’s duck deck’s like Dak.
Filed under Poems
I don’t like Halloween
But I like clinical trials.
Debating whether I got a placebo
Fills my life with smiles.
So in a manner of speaking
Spooky season is still real neat
Because thanks to modern medicine
You still ask “trick or treat?”
Filed under Poems
Whenever I meet
Patriotic Libyans
It’s a big green flag.
Filed under Poems
If you advertise a place
For a Weight Watchers meet and greet
But it’s not an officially-branded event
Is that an imitation pork meet?
Filed under Poems
My aunt installed some software
From an disreputable source
And it wreaked havoc on her life
(As these things do, of course).
Turns out it gave her pink-eye,
So in case you’re not aware
This is the first case of illness caused
By aunt eye-virus software.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 