If you say something sweet to a glacier
And it melts their icy heart
They quietly whisper, “thawwwwwww”
And that’s how global warming starts.
Tag Archives: Puns
Piano Tuning Saves Lives
If you sit at a piano
And you plink out A-C-E
Then you played an A Minor chord
So very easily.
But if you sit at a piano
That is really out of tune
Then you might screw up A Minor
And the cops will show up soon.
Filed under Poems
Get It… Terrific?
I’ve heard people say leftists are happy
With Trump’s economics. A specific
Comment I heard is that they are feeling
A really strong feeling of tariff-ick.
Filed under Poems
P. Diddy? More Like R. Chaic! (Gregorian Ba Dum Tss)
I suspect between 476-1450 AD
The pedophiles cried and raged
Because even the youngest of children
Were all still middle aged.
Filed under Poems
The Ghost Busters Reboot We Wanted, But Disney Won’t Approve My Script
I think they should have a Ghostbusters
Where they find a haunted house
But they’re not allowed to cleanse it
‘Cause some fat chick in a blouse
Hears some old white men are coming
And they’re going to exercise
And she wants no part of that.
Then the ghosts come and she dies.
Filed under Poems
I Used To Dress Up Like Grandma… Now I Save Other Animals From My Mistake
The big bad wolf went down to the coop
Where the farmer said “There’s 38 genders.”
The wolf ain’t ate no chickens so far
But he ate the chicken tenders.
Filed under Poems
Always Room At The Table For Turkey
Today we are thankful for immigrants
Who come here to become a winner.
Without them we’d have to fly to Turkey
To have our traditional dinner.
Filed under Poems
In The Beginning
Apple sent me their terms and conditions
But my wife said “You don’t have to read it.”
So I listened to my wife
And now my eternal life…
Well, turns out I have to concede it.
Filed under Poems
Writing With The End In Mind
There was a rude doctor
Who played a card game.
His deck featured ducks
And was pretty lame,
Almost as bad as
The Cowboys’ quarterback.
Yes, I can confirm
Dick doc’s duck deck’s like Dak.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 