“Mathematics is the study
“Of revenge,” I said to Steven.
“Five and three are at odds,
“But together they got even.”
Tag Archives: Short
They Don’t Call It “Premium” For Nothing
Today I give thanks
For 93-octane gas…
The kind that nobody buys;
It just sits in tanks
While people say “pass,”
But remains both potent and wise.
Filed under Poems
Both are Mostly Empty…
“Airhead’s an offensive term,”
Said my girlfriend of 30 days.
I said, “Sorry, didn’t know.”
Now I call her “Bag of Lays.”
Filed under Poems
Oh No… OH NO!
I wondered what the worst news ever could be
And I finally have an answer:
It’s hearing your wife of 70 years
Tell you she has testicular cancer.
Filed under Poems
Why Adults Matter
Life is an X-Rated video game
And we are the gigantic foes
That stop young players from seeing things
Until their character grows.
Filed under Poems
What Being The Coolest Kid In 3rd Grade Sounds Like
Go-Gurt is yogurt
That’s put in a sleeve.
Here’s a tube of “Away Bro…”
Now why don’t you leave?
Criminal Justice 101
For those who aren’t aware,
Jail and prison are not the same.
To help remember which is which
You can play this little game:
If you piss off any cop
You’ll go to a jail cell.
If you’re either poor or black
You’ll go to prison as well.
Filed under Poems
…That Was When Elon Musk Got A New Idea…
Some fear that robots will steal our jobs
But that’s not the future I see…
After all, what robot has the power
To turn any liquid into pee?
Filed under Poems
A Bit of Hot Air
I used a hand dryer
In the public restroom
After I went to the beach.
I expected it
To dry my hands,
But it delivered a political speech.
Filed under Poems
And Yet We Keep Voting For Them…
Politicians are like a bag of chips
That appear to be mostly air
But then they take the chips away
And say “You’re healthy now. See? I care!”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 