Some say poetry is crap.
Others call it art.
Nobody liked my soccer poem
And I’d call that a very good start!
Tag Archives: Short
What The Flock?
The best men in America
All come from Arkansas.
They’re peacocks in the city
And turkeys in the straw.
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“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”
Is really a load of bull…
When there’s no meat on the table for dinner
Nobody’s like “But the bushes are full!”
——————————————————–
Some say Bird Jesus is a parrot
‘Cause he always has something to say.
I personally disagree because
Bird Jesus is a bird of pray.
——————————————————–
The woods were dark and silent
And our hunting trip did fail.
My wife said the woods were empty
But I just think the birds were male.
Filed under Poems
Millennial Parents Be Like…
The dentist asked three little boys
“Every day do you floss?”
Jeff said “Yes”
And Jeph said “Yes”
And Geoff said “Yeos.”
Filed under Poems
Modern Problems Require Modern Solutions
When you remember your username
But the password you do not
And have to point out stop signs
To prove you aren’t a robot…
I think they should have a youtube ad
And if you don’t click “skip in 5”
They know you are a robot,
Or at least you’re not alive.
Filed under Poems
Today, In America
The family was gathered,
The chicken was frying,
And somewhere on TV
Our leaders were lying.
I was lighting the fireworks
And feeling just fine
‘Til I held up my fingers
And counted to nine.
Filed under Poems
On a Scale Of A-F, I’d Grade This An Rrrrrr
I knew a pirate captain
And boy, was he a putz!
He tried to hump his steering wheel
And complained “This is driving me nuts!”
Filed under Poems
A Competitive Game
I asked the rock-paper-scissors champion
The secret of which symbol’s best to choose.
He smiled as he answered: “The key to my success
“Is, when I play, I always try to lose.”
Filed under Poems
The Moment Before You Concede The Custody Battle
When I was but a tiny lad,
Not more than eight years old
My mom would tell me “Go to bed”
And I’d do as I was told.
Now I tuck in my 8-year old
And say “Good night. Sweet dreams.”
And she replies “Keep lecturing me
“And they’ll never hear your screams.”
Filed under Poems
NOOOO! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!
Roses are mauve
And kale causes addiction.
Two women sat quietly.
This poem is fiction.
Filed under Poems
From My Rejected Spongebob Script
A daddy seashell said to his son
“If you want to have some fun
“Hold a human ear to your shell
“And you can hear the sound of blood. ‘Tis swell!”
Filed under Poems
