When I spray the hose
I can make rainbows appear
In our living room
Tag Archives: Short
Is This How Pokemon Started?
Tiger tiger, burning bright
In the zoo, so late at night.
Alas, it seems those corporate jerks
Failed to show how the extinguisher works.
Filed under Poems
The Science Of Attraction
If you say something sweet to a glacier
And it melts their icy heart
They quietly whisper, “thawwwwwww”
And that’s how global warming starts.
Filed under Poems
How Wars Start
Iran said to America, “You da bomb.”
America said, “No, you da bomb.”
And everything would have been ok
Except Israel ran and told their mom.
Filed under Poems
They Weren’t Laughing… But There Were Other Signs
If anyone here is deaf
I have an important question:
Do I start jokes with “Have you heard the one about…”
Or do you have a better suggestion?
Filed under Poems
Follow For More Post-Apocalyptic Recipes
The sky has fallen
The sea has boiled
The Earth has shaken
The contingency’s foiled
The zombies prowl
But I’m okay:
Whipped cream goes “psshhhh”
And they can’t take that away
Filed under Poems
Wait… Did The French Just Surrender To Tourists?
So the Louvre closed its doors today
Which is how Mona Lisa would say
“Je ne t’aime pas
“Alors au revoir.”
(And yes, those do rhyme by the way)
Filed under Poems
Ted Talks Nowadays
Maybe if we hugged
Pterodactyls every day
We would have world peace
—————————————
Cheese comes from a can
Also from mammal udders
Therefore cows are steel
—————————————-
Climate change is bad.
So is hitting little kids.
#ChangedMyLife
Filed under Poems
An American Epiphany
I’m 0.02 football fields tall
And I weigh 153 basketballs.
My waist circumference is the cube root of 120 teaspoons
And maybe the metric system isn’t bad after all.
Filed under Poems
Give It To That One Friend Who Thinks Their Job Is Important
I want to read a novel
Where the fabled chosen one
Goes on a quest to do something
Like kill the god of the sun
And when we reach the ending
There’s a fabled chosen two
And there’s no sun god after all
And they don’t know what to do.
Filed under Poems
