I think my daughter will be president
Because she’s only three years old
And already knows how to tell everyone
To shut up and do as they’re told.
Tag Archives: Short
Softball Questions
There once was a baseball glove
Who, with a human, fell in love.
You may doubt, but I’ll confirm it:
They lived together, but he’s a her mitt.
Filed under Poems
My Community College Application Essay
“He who thinks great thoughts
“Often makes great errors”.
That’s a quote from Martin Heidegger.
I don’t think great thoughts
And I also make great errors…
That’s a quote from me. Also, Flydeigger.
Filed under Poems
More Is Better
“Would you like to sit at the table”
My mother asked, her voice sour.
“I’m good” I replied, my voice filled with pride
As I stared down at her from my tower.
Filed under Poems
The Other Opening Was For “End Of Days Rituals Inc.
I got a job at the olive oil factory
And my coworker is a nun.
Now they can write “Extra Virgin” again
‘Cause for a while they just had one.
Filed under Poems
No Pain, No Gawain
I am getting sleepy
And I open wide to yawn,
Then I march into my bedroom
And put plate armor on.
My chainmail hugs me tightly
And I fall into a heap…
This is what I have to do
To get a good knight’s sleep.
Filed under Poems
I Hope I Never Have To Read This Poem Out Loud
For every book ever written
And every food ever bitten
There’s that one guy who is not admittin’
He doesn’t know how to pronounce the word “chitin”.
Filed under Poems
Aztec Millennials
Two cannibals awoke on Sunday
And went for brunch at a cafe.
One said “I’ve got a hunch
“That the real brunch
“Is the friends we’ll meet along the way.”
Filed under Poems
Why Even Numbers Are Boring
One is the loneliest number
And two can be as bad as one
Three is a crowd
Four is twice as bad as one
Five has no particular qualities
Six is three times as bad as one…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 