There once was a [redacted] from [redacted]
Who really [redacted] with [redacted].
He [redacted] one day
In a [redacted] way
And [redacted] [redacted] his anus.
Tag Archives: Short
Graphic Design 101
I saw something today and thought
“I need to investigate
“Why the stripes on the gay pride flag
“Are always entirely straight.”
Filed under Poems
Where BLM and the Dictionary Meet
A riot is when you’re angry
So you burn and steal money.
A riot’s also when you laugh
Because something is funny.
Filed under Poems
Which Came First?
The chicken pulled a cigarette
From somewhere in the hay
Then sat beside a little egg
Which it did just lay.
Then the chicken leaned in close
With grace much like a dancer
And whispered, sultry, to the egg
“I guess we have an answer!”
Filed under Poems
It’s All Short And Bald… And It Has Gills
I’ve decided to stop drinking water.
It’s controversial, of course,
But I made up my mind when I saw what comes
From adding “sea” to a horse.
Filed under Poems
Haiku: When Someone Tells Me There Are More Than 2 Genders
Ha ha ha ha ha,
Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha.
Wait, there’s more… (pause)… Ha.
Filed under Poems
When You Really Want To Do An Epic Rhyme But The Setup Is Bananas
There was a grammarian from Crimea
Who had a friend, Timmy Nadia.
Timmy N said “Gimme an
“Crimean simian”
And the grammarian said, “It’s ‘give me a.'”
Filed under Poems
Actual MCU Pitch Meeting, Featuring Greek Food
There one was a film about heroes
That didn’t gross quite enough zeroes.
Disney said, “Make it funny
“And we’ll make way more money,”
Then the CEO ordered some gyros.
Filed under Poems
Please Examine This Excel Graph And Identify The Precise Moment I Did Not Get Laid
I met a beauty in the lab
And we talked of time and space
And before the time had finished
We were walking to my place.
Things were getting steamy
And as she turned off the light
I said “This is like water
“Exceeding 212 degrees Fahrenheit!”
Filed under Poems
When Gen Z Starts Procreating
If I ever have a baby
With the person I call “Honey,”
I will name it “In the Headlights”
‘Cause when we sing “Happy Birthday” it’ll be funny.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 