Back in 1996 we moved to Pallet Town
Where there are two houses
And electric mouses
And a research lab that’s brown.
Now our trainer starts their quest in the hills of Cabo Poco.
It’s the exact same thing
But with 3D bling
And NPCs who say “Loco.”
When I am 58 years old I’ll go to Quantum Prime
Where I’ll get my starter
And then depart for
Eight badges and fighting crime.
Filed under Poems
Women are possessed of powers
Men cannot explain
But sitting on the toilet for half an hour
Is strictly man’s domain.
Filed under Poems
I’ve started to think of ads
As memes from strangers’ dads
About brands I don’t know
And that makes me feel so
Much less like I’ve been punched in the ‘nads.
Filed under Poems
Fat cat on my lap goes splat
And I pat his fat and that is that.
I rub and rub all ‘round his roundness
Until I question my mental soundness.
I sploop his leg and bwork his boop
And give his little gleeb a ploop
And then he bites and runs away
And thus I end another day.
Filed under Poems
I’m an absent-minded guy
And I’d probably make a terrible spy.
On an unrelated note
I mowed the lawn and bought a boat.
Filed under Poems
I’m a hundred miles from home
And I’m all topped off on gas.
I’ve got four all-weather tires
To propel me past the pass.
I’ve got all my tunes on CD-rom
And 12 donuts ready to bite.
I’m ninety-nine miles from home now
And there’s the check engine light…
Filed under Poems
I’ve heard people say leftists are happy
With Trump’s economics. A specific
Comment I heard is that they are feeling
A really strong feeling of tariff-ick.
Filed under Poems
There once was a bed with a pillow
Then a wife did enter the room
And thus my one-pillow system
Began to sense its doom.
First came two big long pillows
That stretched across the bed
And did everything a pillow should
Except help rest your head.
Then came two fluffy square ones
That aren’t the same color or size
Because apparently symmetry
Is not good for a female’s eyes.
Then came that little round novelty
With a pic of my mother-in-law
And now I don’t sleep with a pillow at all,
Put my head on mattress all raw.
Filed under Poems
Imagine a world where all is at peace,
A world without hunger or toil,
And ponder how easy a thing it would be
To go bomb them and take all their oil.
Filed under Poems
A poet once went on a break
Which turned out to be a mistake
‘Cause he hurried to finish
His limerick, diminish
Ing his perfect lyrical break.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 