A poet once went on a break
Which turned out to be a mistake
‘Cause he hurried to finish
His limerick, diminish
Ing his perfect lyrical break.
Tag Archives: Silly
Not To Mention Big Feet…
Some people believe in fantasy creatures
Like mermaids and centaurs and such.
Most people come to conclude those beliefs
Are, politely, “a little bit much.”
Some people believe in fantasy creatures
But I think we should give them a pass;
Sure, I’ve never known a fish-tailed woman
But I’ve known plenty with a horse’s ass.
Filed under Poems
Modern Literature
Irritating, aggravating,
Enervating, asinine,
Childish, boorish, makes-me-snore-ish,
Meaningless but mostly fine,
Stupid, senseless, mauve, relentless,
Bleaker than “Old Yeller”,
And somehow amidst these reviews
A New York Times Bestseller…
Filed under Poems
Je ne peux pas me marier parce qu’il y a un dinosaure dans l’église
Duolingo says I’m wrong
When I type “La buste” instead of “Le buste”
But it also told me it couldn’t get married because there was a dinosaur in the church
So I’m not really sure who to trust.
Filed under Poems
What Effect Was That Again?
With all the hurricanes and fires
And political unrest
I think it’s time we kill the butterflies.
Take heart. It’s for the best!
Filed under Poems
Look At The Bright Side… Or Don’t… Do Whatever You Want
I asked my wife for a random word
To inspire my poem tonight.
Here eyes went wide, her gaze went blank,
And she went towards the light.
Now alone and uninspired
I type this tepid verse
But at least it’s quiet in the house
So I guess it could be worse.
Filed under Poems
The Worst Place That Everyone Wants To Be?
Anerica is an evil place
Led by terrible rapists and thieves
And yet people say it violates their rights
If anyone asks them to leave?
Filed under Poems
New Slogan Unlocked?
I’m not too good at poetry
So instead of trying to push
I’ve decided to stop my poetry
And just write poebush.
Filed under Poems
Qui Gonn Logic
Crazy little slave
Killed an army just for kicks.
Better train the kid!
Filed under Poems
Is It Too Late To Enlist?
I wished to be a poet. I thought that would be fine
But I had to be a sailor; I could only write two lines
And a gee and a hey and doodle dawdle yah!
Oh my English class was easy, that much is very true,
But I’d only write twelve syllables and not a whole haiku
And a gee and a hey and doodle dawdle yah!
But if you have no talent for stayin’ ‘round a while
They told me that the Navy would snap me up and smile
And a gee and a hey and doodle dawdle yah!
Turns out in the Navy there’s a whole entire job
For writing two line songs to sing while cleanin’ with a swab
And a gee and a hey and doodle dawdle yah!
My captain has a button that can nuke our enemies
But I can make him tap his foot across the seven seas
And a gee and a hey and doodle dawdle yah!
And a gee!
And a hey!
And doodle
Dawdle
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
(Mic drop)
The Daily Travesty 