The greatest invention of all time
Was the invention of paper
Not because it simplified written language
Or made knowledge portable,
But because it drastically reduced the number of ties
In the popular game of “Rock.”
Tag Archives: Silly
Obligatory Thanksgiving Poem
Today’s the day we give our thanks
To those who made the lending banks
Who’ll help us spend the day to come
By buying stuff until we’re numb.
We’ll also eat some spuds and birds
As we exchange our thankful words,
Then look outside and see the sweet
Bright lights of Christmas across the street.
Filed under Poems
But Please Don’t
If I were a flamingo, um…
You wouldn’t be reading this poem.
If I were a beaver
You wouldn’t be reading it either.
If I were a yak
You’d have the last 10 seconds back.
But alas I am a human
So if you want to sue me, you can.
Filed under Poems
No One Has Ever Made This Joke Bef…
Even though I can’t
Count syllables properly
I can still write hai…
Filed under Poems
She Likes Funny Men
She asked “You know what makes me smile?”
I said “Muscles in your face.”
She hasn’t smiled for a while
And says she Needs some space…”
Filed under Poems
A Vegetarian In Texas
I asked the waitress for tofu.
I thought that she was cute
Until she brought me a dildo
And said “Here’s your meat substitute.”
Filed under Poems
Sharing Is Caring
If your roommates are loud
And you want them to hush
Just say “Hey roomie,
“Where’d you put our toothbrush?”
Filed under Poems
We are the .0000000000000000000000000000000000000…1 percent
“My feelings matter”
Screamed the important human
And a few quadrillion cubic lightyears
Of hyper-intelligent space blobs
Smiled and reminisced
On when they thought the same thing.
Two or three universes away
The process repeated.
Filed under Poems
Las Story Es Mucho True
If you’re in Puerto Rico
And don’t know how to speako
Know this: The inglés
Is not spoke in the place
And they’ll probably think you’re a freako.
Filed under Poems
Bye Bye Wings
A fly was buzzing around my head.
It drove me up the wall!
I took away its Red Bull
And now it’s just a crawl.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 