Donald and Elon sitting in a tree
T.W… oops… X.I.N.G.
First come threats
War comes later
And wait, is that Kanye playing mediator?
Tag Archives: Stupid
It Rhymes With Duck (And It’s One Of The Words Timmy CAN Spell)
Timmy was a troubled child
Who wouldn’t do his work.
When Timmy didn’t pass his class
His mom became a jerk
And met with Timmy’s principal:
“If Timmy doesn’t walk
“At graduation, your boss and I
“Will have a little talk.”
Well the principal’s salary
Is based on graduation rate
So he waived Timmy’s missing stuff
And got thanked by the state.
Timmy is a graduate.
The principal got paid.
Society got a synoym
For “screwed” and “loved” and “laid.”
Filed under Poems
Goldreck The Obtuse Didn’t Apply His Social Emotional Learning Outcomes
Today I learned in school
That everyone’s equally cool
So I wore my knickerbocker.
Now I’m cool inside my locker.
Filed under Poems
Meaning? Maybe. Rhymes? Absolutely!
There once was a dame with no name
Who spent days playing a lame game.
Her tame claim to fame came
When her aim to blame the same game
Overcame her shame of being no-name.
Filed under Poems
Also, Unpaid Overtime!
Getting a promotion
Is a matter of pretending
That you listen to that guy
At weekly meetings never-ending.
Your reward for your attention
Is a minor bump in pay
And the new and useful privilege
Of having meetings every day.
Filed under Poems
Guess Which One Every ****ing Driver Picked Today, Apparently?
I am driving down the street
In two-thousand pounds of speeding death.
I can watch the road ahead
Or answer a text from my buddy, Seth.
Filed under Poems
On The Devaluation Of Currency And Its Indirect Consequences To Tourism And Related Industries (Or: Time To Invest In Fountains, As The Price Of Wishes Just Went Up 400%)
I sing of a coin called a penny
Whose value was just less than “any”.
It was cash, free and legal, and yet it
Was not worth the effort to get it.
If it’s true what the president hinted
No longer will such coins be minted
And I for one ponder this pickle:
Will folks still pay for a souvenir nickel?
Filed under Poems
Qatar Is Just Protecting Their Spanish Friends From Flooding
So Trump accepted a gifted plane
Worth half a billion dollars
Which prompted a lot of random folks
To become morning radio callers.
But with regards to blame
And deciding on whom to pin it
You should know the rain in Spain
Is apparently mainly in it.
Filed under Poems
Every. Single. Month.
In thirty seconds
She can laugh and scream and weep
‘Cause water is wet
Filed under Poems
Seriously, Apple? (Although I Get Why Microsoft Does It)
So when you buy a phone
You buy a screen protector thing
That keeps your glass from breaking
When you do a stupid thing.
Another stupid thing though
Is that if they have this tech
Why don’t they make the glass from it?
Come on now! What the heck?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 