When I was a younger child
I couldn’t help but feel
That, in my life, dalmatians
Would be a significantly bigger deal.
Tag Archives: Travesty
Street Wisdom, the New Hampshire Way
The hard drugs are named things
Like heroin and crack
And there are more I don’t know
‘Cause I’m white as a Mac.
Other drugs have names
Like Clopidogrel
So if you’re not sure if a drug’s “hard”
That’s one way to tell.
Filed under Poems
Opportunity Will Find You If You Stumble On Chances To Do Stuff, Maybe
I believe my destiny
Has been chosen just for me
By the position of the stars
And maybe too the moon and Mars
On the day that I was born,
But alas now I am torn
Because one newspaper said
“Watch out for someone who’s not dead”
While another warned me that
“You’ll meet someone that wears a hat.”
What am I supposed to do?
Watch for the hatted and the living too?
So many truths, I am forlorn!
Such woe is mine, a Capricorn.
Filed under Poems
The Sons Of Reuben Were All Prophets?
I think that Jesus didn’t have children
Because if he had children then
He’d make them sandwiches, but they’d complain
“Daaad… pastrami and rise again?”
—————————————————————
On the other hand, Moses was famous
For his sandwiches. That’s what I hear.
In fact, back in Egypt I heard he was voted
The Nigev desert’s manna the year.
Filed under Poems
When Life Gives You
Steve the alligator
Looked at the lemon rind
That, squeezed out and discarded,
In the swamp he did find.
The lemon said “Life gave me
“And thus did I die,
“So I warn you dear gator
“That your time is nigh.”
Filed under Poems
This Poem Has An Unsatisfying Finish, Just Like GoFundMe
Today we gather to commemorate
A platform that we grew to hate,
Whose motto is “Give us a buck
“And we’ll distribute it to whoever the”
Filed under Poems
There’s Always A Deeper Depravity…
I don’t go to parties
Because I am a geek.
I have never cut my hair
Because I am a freak.
I play old school RPGs
Because I am a dork,.
I’m still proud because I don’t
Eat pizza with a fork.
Filed under Poems
…Or An Astronaut
I want to be the director
At a news station some day
So when a line of gnus appears
I am the one to say:
“Lights… Camera… Action”
But moreso than the views
I want to say I was the one
Who cued queued gnus news.
Filed under Poems
Boom! Soft In Seconds
She was a 10.
I was a male.
I thought it was love,
Then she said “I like kale.”
Filed under Poems
It’s True Because It’s True Because It’s True…
In the bible it’s very clear
That having sex with one who’s near
To you in blood is something that one doesn’t.
If you’re another brother’s mother
Be wary choosing a significant other
Because sin be cousins causin’ cousins.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 