I am in a cabin
Eating French fries with my wife.
Poetry is great and all
But then again so is my life.
Tag Archives: Travesty
White People Be Rappin’ Like
If I had a hippo
You wouldn’t gimme no lip, yo.
But I’ve got an elephant
And you’re just like “omg, can’t.”
So I just bought a rat,
So have fun with that
As I pull out my gator
And say “see ya later.”
Filed under Poems
If I Transcribed My Entire Thought Process While Writing Jokes Instead Of Just The Finished Product
There once was a suburban dad
Who was a most serious lad.
He never told jokes
To his kids or his folks
And because of that they all were sad.
Now that you feel sufficiently guilty…
What did the dog say to the octopus?
I like bones.
Get it? ‘Cause he’s a dog?
Laugh, or I’ll read you the limerick again…
Filed under Poems
Marketing, Travesty Style
I’m writing another book
For Valentine’s Day this year
But I also hate advertising
So yeah… I was never here.
Filed under Poems
High Resolutions
New year, new you?
You do that too?
So that makes two
Of us. Who knew!
New year, new me
Is how I see
My future will be
Until January 3.
Then new year’s old
Or so I’m told
So I’ll put on hold
My plans so bold.
Filed under Poems
Is This My Moana Lisa?
In halcyon hours, my maiden and me
Become one with each other until
Through effort and grace we lie face to face
As nature concludeth its will.
Then I am afflicted with such a condition
Where my brain is in tune with my bowels
And for hours after I know only laughter
And I can speak only in vowels.
Or to put it another way…
Iayohouyaieae
Eoeoeieaoeui
Oueoaaeeieaeoae
Aaueoueii.
EIaaieiuaoiio
Weeyaiiiueiyowe
AohouaeIooyaue
AIaeaoyiowe.
Filed under Poems
When It Snows On Your Parade?
I used to have a whole bunch of dice
But I can’t find two of them now.
I suppose that means it’s a pair o’ dice lost?
(Yes, this is a pun. Anyhow…)
Filed under Poems
Would You Consider Him To Be A Jerk?
There once was a poet from Newark
Who never finished his work.
Even though it’d be easy
He was just that cheesy.
Filed under Poems
Deterrent or Solution? How About Both!
If everyone had nuclear missiles
And lacked all self control
The internet would be a more peaceful place
And that is a most noble goal.
Filed under Poems
The Gen Alpha Song
I was born too late for a peaceful life,
Born to a woman who was not a wife,
Raised by a screen and a TikTok star
With no life skills but a brand new car.
My first day of school was in my bedroom.
I made new friends with the help of Zoom.
My kindergarten cred was instantly blown
‘Cause I’m five years old but using last year’s phone.
I can’t read yet and that won’t change soon
‘Cause Alexa can read me Good Night Moon,
My browser can do homework for me
Thanks to indifferent teachers and a GPT.
By 2050 we’ll be on the presidential stage
Campaigning for a million dollar minimum wage
So better get some rizz unless you’ve got gyat
‘Cause here we come world, ready or not.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 