Roses are red
My fiancée is achey
So I have an excuse
If this poem seems flakey.
Tag Archives: Travesty
See? This Is Why All We See Are Stupid Moths!
The monarch butterfly revealed
It’s gold and ebony splendor,
The ruler with antennas fair
And wings both strong and tender.
Alas, his reign was shortened
When he came upon a boy
Who thought his wings were pretty
And he’d make a worthy toy.
The boy absconded with the bug
Who ruled the butterflies
And in a box of colorful corpses
Does now his body lie.
So I decry the practice
Of collecting bugs and lobby
That only spiders be collected
By those who hold this hobby.
Filed under Poems
The D&D Flowchart
If at first you don’t succeed
You may find wit is what you need;
If your wit should fail, then try
To punch your foe into the sky;
If the sky is far or your muscles weak
With silver tongue you next must speak;
And should you speak as does this poet
Conjure a fireball and throw it.
Filed under Poems
Bill Jigger Gets Rejected From MIT
Bill Nye became a science guy
Because he rhymed his name
But my parents still won’t tell me why
I cannot do the same…
Filed under Poems
Somewhere, In Their Parents’ Basement, Is An Overworked Game Designer Making Voting Machines
In every Pokemon game
The story is the same.
In Zelda, the main canon
Is the bad guy’s always Ganon.
So if you say that Russia
Is rigging elections, I’ll shush ya
‘Cause if anybody can
I’d guess the culprit is Japan.
Filed under Poems
It’s Never Easy In Seattle
The Seahawks today were a flyin’
When they beat a Michigan Lion:
With three turnovers, ‘twas prominent
How they were utterly dominant
And so barely squeaked out a win.
Filed under Poems
A Limerick About Mobile Games
There once was a Candy Crush knockoff
There twice was a Candy Crush knockoff
There thrice was a knockoff
Four times was a knockoff
Five times was a Candy Crush knockoff
Filed under Poems
Classic Literature
Of all the editors who ever were
One doesn’t get enough credit:
Somebody read “69,046.767 miles under the sea” And asked “have you heard of a league?”
(The other editors never read it)
Filed under Poems
Enough Is Enough
Why do we keep electing the people
Who think that it’s totally cool
To make a new law that requires a sign
That says “Wet Floor” and goes in the pool?
Filed under Poems
Dear Christians… There Is Only One
Let me introduce myself:
My name is Danny Michael.
I’m a circus performer
And I ride the unicycle.
I’m glad you guys are happy
But imagine how you’d feel
If you were me, and you kept telling
Jesus to take the wheel…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 