If this were a job
It might get me fired
But this poem’s crap
‘Cause it’s late and I’m tired.
Tag Archives: Truth
Golf
Little ball of plastic
I hit into a hole:
It takes me many tries
To once achieve my goal.
I then repeat the process
Seventeen more times.
This sport is very stupid
But hey, the poem rhymes!
Filed under Poems
Researching Self-Control
If I had a potato chip
For every theory that made sense
I’d have a much larger stomach
And not a lot of evidence…
Filed under Poems
Car of Man, Car of Poet
He’s got a triple-axle
Turbo-powered 4×4
With a 12-liter v-20
And a carbon-fiber door.
It goes zero-to-sixty
In 1.72
And has a TV in the hood,
But me… My car is blue!
Filed under Poems
Lucky for Me… I’m a 3!
She was meretricious
And he was five-foot-two
And yet somehow between them
Amorous feelings grew.
He thought she was a goddess
And she thought he was funny.
So go the lives of 4’s and 5’s
When they have boobs or money.
Filed under Poems
2021
Deep below, the hipster slugs
Are killing worms and taking drugs
And handing out free slimy hugs
And chanting “Slug Lives Matter.”
High above, against the odds,
Someone applauds the gastropods
And, thinking they are modern gods,
Eat escargot and grow fatter.
Filed under Poems
If People Are Pissed About Masks…
I really hope for chaos’ sake
That the cure for Covid be
The presence of police
Because, well, blessed irony!
Filed under Poems
Welcome To Alaska
‘Twas 1:00 O’clock, so said my watch
But be it day or night
I could not tell, for in the sky
Was a full moon so bright.
Beside it in the starlight
A single star shone brighter;
It was the sun, and so begun
Our first three-month all-nighter.
In the East the sun did rise,
And in the West it sets,
But in the North it matters not
How late the daytime gets.
‘Twas in the Summer moonlight
That I saw the Summer sun,
And so it is both day and night
Until the Summer’s done.
Filed under Poems
That Feels Possessive…
I checked into a hotel room
That was almost six feet tall,
Weighed 180 pounds
And once was very small.
I used it for one happy day
To run around the world
Then checked out in the evening
As on a bed it curled.
I checked back in tomorrow
But found it was today
And the room I’d left behind me
Was mostly still okay.
I expect to keep this up
For quite a while yet
For, being an ambitious ghost,
It’s the best that I can get.
Filed under Poems
Go Cry To… Oops
There’s nothing anyone can say
That won’t offend another.
For instance, if you say
That you live with your mother
Women call you loser,
Men will say you suck,
And orphans will be pissed
Because some guys get all the luck.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 