If you’re a man trying to hump
A large marine mammal that’s male
If it humps back you may have found
A homosexuwhale.
Category Archives: Poems
Starched Contrast
“Iron Man” is a hero
Who shoots lasers from his hand.
He has no female counterpart…
“Iron Woman” is a command.
Filed under Poems
No Forks Given
There are no untraveled roads
In human lives on Earth,
Just a single well-worn trail
You’ve traveled since your birth.
No choice you ever didn’t make
Can burden you with debts;
You’ve walked too well along your path
To suffer from regrets.
Every scrape and every scar
Through every dusty mile
Brought every hidden tear of joy
And every quiet smile.
So should a stumble in your past
Disturb your present mind,
Salvation’s on the trail ahead;
There is no trail behind.
Filed under Poems
More Deep Thoughts
Living a happy and comfortable life
Is like eating a lot of chocolate:
It makes you fat and kills you slowly
But it’s totally worth it.
Filed under Poems
This Poem Is Brolken
I wanted to make a polka joke
To show I am a funny folk
Then I drank a diet colk
So instead I told a polka jolk.
Filed under Poems
Probably Murder Too, But…
This may be oversimplified
But I think there’s just one sin:
To sacrifice one’s love of life
In the hope you’ll somehow win.
Filed under Poems
Pass It On
There’s a lot in life to pass on
Like the buck, the ball, the chance,
The slow guy in the right lane
And the guy who wants to dance.
There’s a lot in life to pass on
But some we should pass more:
A smile, a joke, a genius stroke,
What matters at our core.
We can take a pass on vacuuming
Without many repercussions
But we don’t get back missed kisses
And unlistened-to discussions.
And as you pass decisions
Other folks are passing too
So tell the world “I’m open”
And smile at what gets passed to you.
Filed under Poems
At The Office
Sometimes I’m at work
And I lose my stapler
And my will to live.
———————————–
-Ace job interview
-Take 10 paid vacation days
-Get fired, repeat
———————————–
Write a few haikus
About work though self-employed.
#Poetry
Filed under Poems
Another Case For Anarchy
The wealthy and the powerful
In conflict did divide
To play a game of endless war
In which the commons died
For when egos battle
And at the heart of every war:
The rich, you’ll find, will seldom mind
The dying of the poor.
Filed under Poems
Today
He’s hiding in a cloud of dust,
Relearning how to never trust.
Her taillights shining in his eyes,
He doesn’t know just how it ended.
Her ears await the next catcall,
In jeans too tight and skin too small,
Praying to what she knows are lies
For the pleasure of being offended.
Both parties borrow from tomorrow
To hide from yesterday’s Pompeii.
They can’t forget about each other
So they settle to forget about today.
He held the door of the gilded cage
And didn’t understand her rage.
He thought he’d shown her chivalry
But she called it the living dead.
Her body language said “I’m cheap.”
She told him she was losing sleep.
He said “I’ll fix this. Hmm, let’s see,”
Then noticed she’d already fled.
They’re hiding from tomorrow’s sorrow
In yesterday’s hip hip hooray.
They hate but obey what they ought
And settle to forget about today.
They’re told by shadows high above
What they must think and say and love
Never asking if or why
Shadows live and love to lie.
They’d rather borrow from tomorrow
To pave the way for yesterday
But within them, on the highest shelves
Are two uncaged, unsullied selves
Whispering in voices clear
So only quiet minds can hear
The truth forbidden by the they:
No one ever lives beyond today.
The Daily Travesty 