Like a church without a steeple,
A Costco that’s not full of people,
A girl who doesn’t like a bunny
Or a kid who thinks fart jokes aren’t funny,
Like a bracelet without a clasp,
A crossword puzzle without the word “asp,”
Like warm fresh bread without the yeast
Or cannibals who never feast,
Like raindrops falling with the snow
Or a hallmark card by Edgar Alan Poe,
Like a duck that only sinks
Or someone driving behind you that thinks,
Like a straight man enjoying “Magic Mike,”
Someone else’s chihuahua that people like,
A University that welcomes drop-ins,
Or “Liam Neeson stars as Mary Poppins.”
These are things that don’t exist,
That can’t be seen and won’t be missed.
They are like what you’ll become
If you ask me for money, Mr. Bum.
The Daily Travesty 