Weekends go too fast.
This one has one hour less.
Karma, I suppose.
Category Archives: Poems
Natural Selection
The eagle sat at the tiptop
Of a cedar tree, casually preening.
The raptor had no conception
Of how the awkward arbor was leaning.
The tree had spent many hours
Under the whip of the weather.
It gave in that day, but the eagle did stay,
Saying silently “just one more feather.”
That eagle dropped seventeen stories
Without even the thought to take wing,
So focused on ridding his feathers
Of that one ugly, hard-to-reach thing.
Thus died the last beautiful eagle
And the fashionable avian gene.
That’s why eagles today are so ugly,
And really don’t like to be seen.
Filed under Poems
Garb-led Thoughts
I wonder if pants are perverts,
Delighted by their jobs,
Or whether some are picky
And are nether-region snobs.
And how do skirts and dresses
Differ from their legged kinds?
I imagine they are similar,
But with much more open minds.
And what of kilts and leggings?
Of loincloths and codpieces?
What difference is the length and style
Of those modesty-guarding fleeces?
Perhaps I’ll never know the musings
Of my lower body clothing.
I just hope their destiny
Is something they aren’t loathing.
Filed under Poems
My Special Someone
I love the warm feeling
When I am inside you.
I knew it the moment
That I first tried you.
You comfort my body
And clear out my head,
But now I must leave you.
I’m sorry, my bed.
Filed under Poems
I’m Just That Uninspired
I thought about it.
Then I thought and thought some more,
Yet I still wrote this.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Special Delivery
I’ve watched a lot of “movies”
That aren’t on IMDB.
They made delivering pizzas
Look like a pretty good job to me.
And indeed, I did get special requests
From my female clientele,
But mostly they’re “draw a pic on the box.”
That or “go to Hell.”
I tried to target neighborhoods
Where people cannot pay,
But mostly they’d just write a check
And send me on my way.
So I quit my job as a pizza guy
For I had been mislead.
Now I spend my afternoons
Cleaning swimming pools instead.
Filed under Poems
One Big Misunderstanding
The big red button
Says “do not press,”
Which is why it’s wrinkly.
Filed under Poems
Nine Million Americans
I won’t lie…
I’m famous
For something really neat.
I posted “first”
On a youtube vid
And now my life’s complete.
Filed under Poems
…or something
This poem: you might find
Reading it is kinda tough
Because it touches on
Things like vaguery and stuff.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
The Daily Travesty 