There once was a man with a wife
Who, for some reason, valued his life.
Twas the week of the shark,
So he went to the park
Knowing she’s apt to wield a knife.
Category Archives: Poems
Do I Sense A Theme?
So somebody made a game called Palworld
That’s like Pokemon with guns
But instead of having free healthcare
It’s a survival game, which is fun.
The last time that I can remember
About Japanese monsters with guns
Was either the movie Godzilla
Or 1945 with megatons…
Filed under Poems
My Superbowl Thoughts
On the one hand, I’m disappointed.
On the other hand, I am ok
That I don’t have to spend my whole afternoon
Watching both teams I hate get to play.
Filed under Poems
F***ing Chiefs Again? Really? Even Hollywood Is More Creative…
There once was a high football tier
That played Winter and Fall every year.
One day a guy tripped
But it wasn’t in the script
But the refs smiled and said “Hold my beer.”
Filed under Poems
When You’re Under Orders To Neglect Your Duty
When your nation makes it illegal
To enforce our most basic of laws
It signals that our compliance
Must end, or at least go on pause.
Filed under Poems
If Only My Hat Could Use Google Images…
I entered an area
Where hard hats were required.
Now I need to find a hot female hat
Or I just might get fired.
Filed under Poems
Two Celebrity Poems (Add Your Own In The Comments)
I have a male cat
Who holds grudges and is sweaty.
I am happy that
I’m the owner of Tom Petty.
—————————————————————
I’m an unemployed metalworker
And I start my resumé with
“I’ll slap hot things for money”
Then sign my name: Will Smith
Filed under Poems
All Choices Have Their Place… It Just Shouldn’t Be A Place Of Power
Democracy is when you’re thirsty
And you long for a cool cup of juice
And the grocer says “We’ve only got soy milk
“Or Wd-40. You choose.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 