The longest month of springtime,
A ball that helps you see,
A band with too much makeup,
And a goat we named “Marie.”
I meant to be romantic
But she had no clue
That I was simply asking
“May I kiss you?”
📆👁🐼🎵🐐?
Tag Archives: Bad
I Didn’t Finish This Poem… You’re Welcome
‘Twas the night after Kwanzaa
And all through the house
The whole family was stirring
But there was no male spouse…
Filed under Poems
If You Can Read This, Don’t Bother
Today is a holiday
As you likely know.
I ate. Now I’m lazy
So I’m gonna go.
Filed under Poems
How Important Is The Vaccine?
.00000005
Is the percent of Americans infected during this pandemic.
.00000005
Is evidence corruption is systemic.
If a million people gathered in a single room
And .00000005 percent got sick as hell
Then of the million gathered there would tell you
One twentieth of one of them might feel a bit unwell.
.00000005
Is a number sixteen syllables long.
And yet it shut down the world for a year
And you ask me what I think is wrong?
Sources:
Population Clock –
Census.gov/popclock
New York Times –
Nytimes.com/interactive/2020/us/coronavirus-us-cases.html
Filed under Poems
Modern Art
Harry stood on stage,
Took a deep breath,
And said, “The,” for forty days.
Every day another voice joined
For eleven and a half weeks.
On the forty first day,
Harry stood on stage,
Took another deep breath,
And said, “World,”
And the followers waited a day
Before echoing him.
And so it was that Harry
And the multitude who came after
Sang a round, “The World,” in eighty days.
Filed under Poems
In America!
“An apple a day
“Keeps the doctor away,”
Or so my mama said.
“You’ve got no cash
“So you’ll soon turn to ash,”
Is what doctors say instead.
Filed under Poems
Both are Mostly Empty…
“Airhead’s an offensive term,”
Said my girlfriend of 30 days.
I said, “Sorry, didn’t know.”
Now I call her “Bag of Lays.”
Filed under Poems
Oh No… OH NO!
I wondered what the worst news ever could be
And I finally have an answer:
It’s hearing your wife of 70 years
Tell you she has testicular cancer.
Filed under Poems
Dr. Seuss Writes An Adult Book
All the Whos down in Whoville
Liked warm beds a lot,
But the Grinch north of Whoville
Had but one lukewarm cot.
For a while he was fine,
Sleeping without a care
‘Til he saw Roxxi Whooter
Whose “whos” just weren’t fair.
The Grinch called to Roxxi,
“Yoohoo, you Who! Who
“Are you?” And she answered
“Just the right Who for you.”
And so the two sidled
From the town to the cranny
Where the Grinch made his home.
On his mind? Hootenanny!
At first he was nervous,
But the Grinch got it going
When what once was hidden
Was suddenly showing.
His heart grew six sizes
But that wasn’t all,
For the Grinch had Thing One
And Thing Two, neither small…
A while shortly passed.
After that, one while more…
Not a Who down in Whoville
Got much sleep, that’s for sure.
What had been merely good
Seemed to now be fantastic
Until Roxxi Who asked,
“Will that be cash or plastic?”
Thus went Grinch’s money
And the Grinch’s six sizes.
To the real Dr. Seuss:
This poet apologizes.
Filed under Poems
Black Humor?
Leo asked, “Would you like to eat African food?”
We voted, and most voted, “Yea.”
Having said yes, Leo said, “Then I guess
“You and Africans feel the same way.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 