If I can see through the ply
I think I’d rather die.
Tag Archives: Bathroom
Shoulda Sat?
Lonely toilet, late at night.
I don’t need no stinkin’ light.
Wait? Why don’t I hear a splash?
Oops! Guess that bowl was the trash.
Filed under Poems
Man’s Favorite Hobby
Sometimes you go to the bathroom
To just get away from it all
Or sometimes you make a poop
That’s the color of Darth Maul.
They both take about the same time
To finish, which is alright.
I did one while writing this poem
So you’re welcome. Now good night.
Filed under Poems
Ladies, Learn To Reboot A Router
If your husband is pooping
And taking his time
So that hours have passed
And the scent is a crime
There’s no need to bother
With a knock or a shout;
His business will finish
When the Wifi goes out.
Filed under Poems
The New Theory Of Relativity
If you’re in the bathroom
And a minute passes by
You don’t even notice
That on the other side
The guy outside the bathroom
Has lived 100 years alone
In a near-death state while you
Read your email on your phone.
Filed under Poems
TMI?
I wanted to let you know
I wrote this poem on the toilet.
I thought it best to keep it brief
In case that secret did spoil it.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Robots of the Night
We’ve got robots to drive us,
To serve us, to vacuum,
To search the web, to save us
From our eventual fiery doom.
One robot no one’s thought of
That would really do a lot
Is a robot to replace the toilet paper roll.
Until then to the cupboard we’ll walk/squat.
Filed under Poems
A Few Good Runs
I eat a plum
To celebrate
A happy day,
Successful date,
A win at work,
A good night’s sleep,
Looking at a woman
Without seeming like a creep.
I’ve been succeeding
In lots of ways,
And I’ll be out of the bathroom
One of these days…
Filed under Poems
The Bathrooms Are Clean In Seattle
There was moisture on
The toilet seat.
Somebody had to
Take the heat
For failing to properly
Aim their piss.
We blamed the Minnesotan,
‘Cause when it counts, they miss.
A Table By The Men’s Room
Our eyes joined as one
Across the smoky hall.
Your heartbeat grew faster
And you let out a call.
I stood and approached,
So graceful and tall.
You thought of love,
And I of nature’s call.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 