I think African people
Should name more children “Enad”
‘Cause then people would ask
“Where’s your kid?”
And then Enad would walk in
And people would say “Hi Enad”
And the parents would get upset
Because they think their kid got hyena’d
But then they’d realize the irony
And laugh
And laugh
And laugh some more
Because they were the real hyenas all along.
Filed under Poems
A fantasy author was getting tired
Of calling things dragons, and so he hired
A marketing guru and said “Hey, it’s lame
“That all of these dragons have the same name!”
So the marketing guru sat down and thought
That people didn’t use “Y” quite a lot,
So he proposed the namesWyvern and Wyrm
And both those became an acceptable term.
Alas, Mr. writer will probably live
Long enough for his stories to give
The inevitable climax, the ultimate sin:
A book where the monster is spelled as “Dragyn”.
Filed under Poems
No matter how bad a day you had
You’re not as bad off as the guy
Who made an SOS out of rocks beneath the overpass
In case a savior might fly by.
Filed under Poems
If I had a baby shark
I’d never need an exclamation mark.
If I had a baby llama
I’d never use another comma.
If I had pets that numbered myriads
I would be all done with periods.
Alas, my only pet’s a cat
So there! I’m done, and that was that.
Filed under Poems
I think of all the seaweed
The one that gets the most teased
Has got to be the kelp
‘Cause their name rhymes with help.
I think of all the jewelry
The one suffering the least tomfoolery
Would have to be the silver
By the same logic as previously.
Filed under Poems
In the shadow of a waterfall
Of moonlight’s silver steam
Was a mist of lunar H2O
In a dazzling metal stream,
Beneath which bubbled puddles
Of the element AG;
The moon was very full, unlike
My repertoire of analogies.
Filed under Poems
Happy happy happy.
Joy joy joy.
Yippee yippee yippee.
Oh boy oh boy oh boy.
I can’t wait. I’m excited.
I’m overwhelmed with wow.
If you think exclamation marks are dumb
You do not think so now.
Filed under Poems
Today I made some cheesecake
That I got from a mix.
I mixed a lime and whipping cream
With several cream cheese sticks,
But when I picked the mixer
To taste the final yum
I realized I forgot to add the mix
And yes, I’m really that dumb!
Filed under Poems
Toses ate ted
Violets ate blue.
Appatently changing a lettet
Makes things hungty, ctew!
Filed under Poems
It’s past the time I need to go
To sleep, but here am I
Writing rhymes that rhyme sometimes
As many times I try
And why I try, I cannot lie,
Is just to try my luck
‘Cause I have no skill, but possibly still
I’ll be famous if I say white people suck.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 