A is for abbreviation
Which means shortening things.
Z is for zat’s all folks,
Now go do kid things.
Tag Archives: Education
Test Scores Declining = Ineffective Terminators
What if a time traveler became a teacher
And for a few decades or so
Just didn’t teach people to write
Because they already know
That AI will destroy the world
And our only hope are those
Who trained the AI how to write
Using their own terrible prose?
Filed under Poems
The Mighty Nine
They graded us with letters,
Best to worst, or “A” through “E“,
And they assigned a “Mighty Nine”
To define what an “A” could be.
The Mighty Nine were to refine
Our fine society
But none of the nine turned out to be
Much better than a “C”.
So “E”s and “D”s, eager to please
The Mighty Nine did strive
Not for a ten-star effort
But settled for a five
While the “A”s and “B”s exceeded
What the Mighty Nine could do
And thus were graded out of ten
Merely a one or two.
Meanwhile, they, the many “C”s
Who chose the Mighty Nine,
Smiled at the system
Which, to them, was mighty fine
And the “A”s and “B”s quit trying
And the “D”s and “E”s died out
And the Mighty Nine, all smiling,
Redefined what life’s about.
The Mighty Nine were models
Of what every “A” should be
But, seized by “C”s, became diseased
With mediocrity.
So cautious be of leaders
Who are mirrors of their peers
Or else the Mighty Nine will reign
Another ninety years.
Filed under Poems
It Rhymes With Duck (And It’s One Of The Words Timmy CAN Spell)
Timmy was a troubled child
Who wouldn’t do his work.
When Timmy didn’t pass his class
His mom became a jerk
And met with Timmy’s principal:
“If Timmy doesn’t walk
“At graduation, your boss and I
“Will have a little talk.”
Well the principal’s salary
Is based on graduation rate
So he waived Timmy’s missing stuff
And got thanked by the state.
Timmy is a graduate.
The principal got paid.
Society got a synoym
For “screwed” and “loved” and “laid.”
Filed under Poems
Schools Now vs. Schools After the Corporate Overlords Quit Hiding
Mom and Dad, guess what! Guess what
I learned today in school!
I learned it doesn’t matter
If you’re smart or fast or cool.
The only thing that matters
Is that you have self-esteem,
And that means that you like yourself
No matter how lame you seem.
Child, child, guess what! Guess what
You’ll learn when you get older?
You can love yourself to death
But still get a cold shoulder
Because what people care about
Is not how you project
But whether or not you’re somebody
Who’s worthy of respect.
Mom and Dad, how can I be
Someone who’s worth respecting
If I’m the sort of guy that I
Would always be rejecting?
Child, child, if you hate
The person that you are
You come to city motors
And you buy a better car!
Filed under Poems
Thus, Sportsball and Gender Studies Scholarships
Super smart students
Have to pay tons of cash
To take college classes
That mostly are trash.
Super good athletes
Can study for free
And despite low grades get
The exact same degree.
The reason for this
Is confusing to some,
And I’m here to explain
Why it isn’t that dumb…
The purpose of college
I will hereby state:
“To see how much BS
“One can tolerate.”
Filed under Poems
Which of the Following Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?
Yet another sign
That our publics schools suck ass:
They have a grading rubric
For a “creative writing” class.
Filed under Poems
Higher Education is a Cure for Introversion
I once found it tough
To talk about stuff,
But then I went to college.
Now I regale ya
About paraphernalia
‘Cause now I’ve got the knowledge!
Filed under Poems
The Power Of Education
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
This poem is boring;
Let’s see what a PhD will do…
Rosoideae are vermillion,
Their brethren, cyan.
I choose to eschew the quotidian
Because, demonstrably, I can.
Filed under Poems
What Else Did I Get This PhD For?
What would you do
For a million dollars?
Some would sell their souls
Or become sales-callers.
Some would kill, some would cheat,
Some would steal, some would rage,
But I’ll just work 80 years
Earning minimum wage.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 