Horror movies are just Groundhog Day
But it’s Halloween instead.
Now with that insight passed on
I’m going to go to bed.
Tag Archives: Halloween
Dark And Stormy Night
Samhain night, a downpour wild
Can’t douse the heart of Autumn’s child
Who dresses as their greatest fear
And walks the streets in merry cheer
Demanding sweets from passers by
Who look upon the youth and sigh
Recalling when they stood so small,
Another life, another Fall.
Filed under Poems
The Season of Sugar Pills
I don’t like Halloween
But I like clinical trials.
Debating whether I got a placebo
Fills my life with smiles.
So in a manner of speaking
Spooky season is still real neat
Because thanks to modern medicine
You still ask “trick or treat?”
Filed under Poems
It Pairs Well With Ghoulash
There once were some zombies from Crete
Who hungered for sentient meat.
They sat and moaned “braaains”
‘Til a skeleton came
With some brains and said “Bone appetite.”
Filed under Poems
Trick or Treat, Seattle!
Normally on Halloween
I prefer to not be seen
Given that my costume for
The day is whatever’s atop my drawer.
Today, however, I wore the clothes
Of something scarier than all of those
Who think vampires or ghosts and such
Are terrifying. Not so much!
Yes indeed, they could not hide
The fact that they were terrified.
I was a terror they’d never seen:
A religious exemption to the covid vaccine.
Filed under Poems
It Used To Be An Innocent Day Of Wiccan Ritual… Before The Dark Times
Instead of holidays with mangers
Tonight we ignore all the dangers
Of costumed little shits
Led by cats with big tits
Who, through threats, steal candy from strangers.
Filed under Poems
The Elf In Boots Of Azure Suede
For Halloween I dressed like Legolas
From the franchise about the ring,
But as I walked about the town
People kept asking me to sing.
At first I didn’t understand
This request, but I caught on later…
People figured I could sing
Since I’m an Elvish Impersonator.
Filed under Poems
Prelude To A November Incarceration
Today I donned my costume
Of civilization’s promiscuity
And the intolerable agony
Such laxness ought to bring.
Yes, amidst the evening’s gloom
It looks a bit like nudity.
And officer, I’ll answer yes,
It is a nipple ring.
Filed under Poems
My Costume Is Apathy
I feel obliged to be spooky
But I’m not feeling it.
I have un-made-up skin
And don’t feel like peeling it.
I’m uncostumed by choice,
Though I looked on Pinterest
Through costume ideas
That held no interest.
There are monsters and witches
And women in lingerie
With animal ears.
What a menagerie!
And I’m challenging passerby
With my sleepy stare
To guess who I am,
Even though I don’t care.
People set bonfires
And dance ’round my home,
And I’m sleeping and hoping
They don’t steal my gnome.
Maybe I’ll get wild
And be less of a lump
With a low budget movie
That will make me jump.
And then come the children
In a sweet-craving mob.
There are 600 Elsa’s
And one I think is The Blob.
There’s Spiderman, Ironman,
And a beast with six legs,
And some orange jumpsuited kids
Delivering eggs.
And then its all over
And the kids go away.
The fast-food workers party
And I guess pagans pray.
I’ve done my part
To keep dentists employed.
Despite myself, this day
I somewhat enjoyed.
Filed under Poems
Aftermath
Today’s November first,
Which is National Candy Day.
You celebrate it by getting sick
And throwing your diet away.
You’ve tasted the rainbow plenty,
And if your pee isn’t purple yet
You can drive down to the grocer
For surplus, cheap as shet.
Today you do not feel guilt.
Just ignore the nausea,
Because capitalism depends on you
And post-costume nostalgia.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
The Daily Travesty 