In the fictional hero’s journey
An opportunity appears
For an ordinary person
To overcome their fears,
To set out on adventure
And become a better man.
In reality, however,
They usually bomb Iran.
Tag Archives: Heroes
Heroes
There’s a man I admire. He’s a rock star
And his lyrics have changed my life.
He accompanied me from a basement alone
To a home with my wonderful wife.
He told me his son has a hero
And it isn’t the guy that you think,
Not the man who’s inspiring millions
But the guy who fixed up the sink.
I’m content now to not be a rockstar,
To embrace all the skills I don’t see
Because somewhere a hero is watching
And perhaps is inspired by me.
I’ll endeavor to be the example
Of the way I think normal should go.
We can all be a hero to someone
Even if it’s someone we don’t know.
Filed under Poems
A True Hunter’s End
I was a monster hunter
In a past life, but alas
I was reincarnated
As a big-mouth billy bass
And instead of hunting demons,
Slaying dragons and the like
I sing “Take me to the river”
To a naked guy named “Spike.”
It wasn’t quite the future
I imagined when I fell.
I did not find Valhalla
But a special sort of Hell.
But in between my bursts of song
And bobbing of my head
I dream of where I’ll be reborn
When next I’m stricken dead…
Filed under Poems
Everyman
Somewhere near you is a man
Who has a loaded gun
And a heart full of unspoken pain.
He cannot see the sun,
Nor can he hear the laughter
Of the squirrels and birds and trees.
He walks upright, but out of sight
He’s fallen to his knees.
Somewhere there’s another man –
It might even be you –
Who gives the first a little nod
That says “I feel it too.”
And sometimes just a nod like that
Is all you need to say
To help a wounded warrior
Put the loaded gun away.
You don’t need superpowers
Or a cape to save the day.
Smiling is enough sometimes
To make the world okay.
Filed under Poems
When The Dragon Finally Wins
Where once there was a chosen one
There stands the lovely fool,
A hero who can’t distinguish
The prison from his school.
The chosen of the dragon and
The savior of the mass
Who once was slaying goblins now
Must take his english class.
The heroes, rogues, magi, and bards,
Barbarians and knights
Have no hydras to vanquish, thus
They learn the Bill of Rights.
What was a land of magic, full
Of ogres, orcs, and elves
Becomes a land where they must slay
The voices in themselves,
The ones that say “You are worthy,
“You are, by nature, fair.”
Teacher says “Slay those parasites,”
Preaching how not to care.
Though no fantastic heroes live
Today, perhaps they can;
There is a dragon, as yet unslain,
Whose form we call “The Man.”
We have the weapons, we have the words,
To fight on, brave and true.
Think for yourself and find your way
To start the tale anew.
Filed under Poems
The Hero We Deserve
I hope somewhere there is a bat
Who’s terrified of men
Who flew off to train with ninjas
And (insert syllables here) then
He became a vigilante
Fighting crime and stuff like that.
He holes up in his man cave
Because he’s called Manbat.
He wears a man-shaped costume
With a cape that’s shaped like fat.
The drives his manmobile badly
Because he is a bat.
I want this very badly
Mostly ’cause of the “man cave” pun.
His sidekick is called Flamingo
And yes, this poem is done.
Filed under Poems
My Idol/Idle
Cheerful monotone lawnmower
Murdering grass.
Doesn’t care about the Joneses.
Doesn’t kiss anyone’s ass.
Even when it’s rainy and gray
It lacks the ability to feel blue.
Why couldn’t I have been born
A gas-powered rotary blade too?
Filed under Poems
Bat Teen
Great adventures await
Those with powers great.
I’m great too,
But woop-de-doo,
I’d rather sleep in late.
Filed under Poems
Weaknesses
Superman has kryptonite.
Spiderman has tiny knives.
Batman has gravity
And Cat-woman’s nine lives.
Wolverine has bad-hair-days.
Underdog has Polly.
Godzilla has the human race,
And “The Beav” has Wally.
Chubby folks have ice cream.
Skinny folks have breezes.
Rats have humans, dogs, cats,
Birds, and poison cheeses.
Chapter books have fragile spines
And test-takers have zeroes.
The theme of this poem, apparently,
Knows just five superheroes.
Filed under Poems
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