I think a million-dollar income
Is an inalienable right
For everyone within an inch
Of six-foot-O in height,
And that all of those people
Should be worshipped as Gods
And based on modern politics
Such a change has decent odds…
Tag Archives: Humor
Sometimes A Break Is Good… (He Wildly Justified To Himself)
Yesterday, no poem
Was published upon this site;
No letters marked with blackness
Formed a word against the white.
I wrote no form of humor
That is funny ’cause it’s dumb…
On the one hand, sorry.
On the other, you’re welcome!
Filed under Poems
Boy Bands
If you play songs
In a rock and roll band
That includes no member
With a mammary gland,
Everyone has Y chromosomes
And speaks in few words
Then you might be a band
But you’re sure not The Birds…
Filed under Poems
Worse Than The Freshman 15…
I gained a couple of pounds
Since the last time I was seen.
I’m noticeably wider
Since the start of quarantine.
I’ve got handles for lovin’
But no contact with my queen.
Life has stalled, I’m going bald
And I gained Covid 19.
Everything’s Bigger In Texas
I like me some ice cream and beer
And sometimes go hunting for deer.
I don’t eat no plants though
Which means that my pants know
The pure incarnation of fear.
Filed under Poems
Morbid Subtext in Children’s Music
All is well while you’re singing
Until your realize
Mary will eventually have a big sheep
Unless one of them dies…
And yet we have been singing this
Since time itself was made.
Do the Mary’s keep swapping
Or was a sweater made?
Filed under Poems
How to Choose a Fitness Club
If they’re doing yoga,
Zumba, jazzercise or such
You’re likely in the Estrogym
And have a woman’s touch.
If they’re watching football games
And opening a beer
You’re gym is the Testosterzone,
The palace of good cheer.
Filed under Poems
Based on a True Story
She said, “I love your belly fat,
“Your slightly crooked nose,
“Your creepily short fingers
“And your eerily long toes.
“I love your balding forehead
“And your lazy eye as well.”
I said, “Thanks, but all that stuff
“Is nothing next to my smell.”
Filed under Poems
Compromises
Some say my standards are too low,
I’m selling myself short,
And that the only girls I like
Are the substandard sort.
At first I disagreed with them,
But soon I started to wonder…
No news yet, but I’ve got a date
With my neighbor’s pet snake, Thunder.
Filed under Poems
Who Else Watched The Debate?
“Roses are red!”
“No! Violets are blue!”
“That’s a lie!”
“Shut up!” “F*** you!”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 