Tag Archives: Life

Millennial Fantasies 2: The Great Reset

They’ve already invented a time machine.

I’m as sure of this as I’ve ever been.

The reason it isn’t a feature today

Is because all the time travelers went away

To a time when a house was only 10k

And your wife could stay home with a kid on the way,

When votes were counted, voices were heard,

There wasn’t a World War (let alone a third).

They traveled and traveled and stopped at a time

Where telling the truth wasn’t punished as crime.

I just hope when they stopped is an age that will last

And will be in our future instead of our past.

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The Ants Go Marching

Do you recall what made you say

“There has to be another way”?

The moment when you burned yourself

Or windows fell and shattered?

Do you recall when you were scared

And learned that no one near you cared

And poured yourself some bottom-shelf

And figured out what mattered?

Remember when your throat was parched,

Your ankle turned, your body arched,

And when your dirty face cried out

The world put earbuds in?

If you recall, it’s time to be

A solo army, strong and free.

If you don’t, then have no doubt

These things will soon begin.

The world may not recall your name

Even if you win the game,

But when you count the victories

You get to choose your score.

So will you choose to recollect

A world of passive disconnect

Or will you solve the mysteries,

Wake up, and join the war?

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Everything Has A Purpose

He was born a maggot

And he grew into a fly

Until my cat got hold of him

And then he had to die.

We celebrate his passing

With a vigorous fist bump

For he reminded us our fat cat

Can manage still to jump.

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When You’re 29 And Your Brain Ain’t Like It Used To Be

Some like it hot.

Some like it cold.

Some start their poem with the same cliche two days in a row

Because hey, I’m tired and old.

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Hands First Or Balls First?

There are two types of bathers

That I have come upon:

The type who take the bar of soap

And rub, rub, rub it on

And the type who see the bar of soap

And never, ever use it

‘Cause they know the other bather

And how often they abuse it.

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But… The Metaphors?

“This movie is great, I promise”.

Those were the words I said.

Then I remembered that one scene

Where they shot the dude in the head

And the bit with the serial killer

And the… actually, never mind.

Maybe next time we’ll watch a movie

That you happen to find.

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Oh Wait… That’s Youtube

Instead of another reality show

Where half-naked people live in the wood

A show where people make huge pillow forts

Would do us a whole lot of good.

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Now THAT Is Motivation

Tonight I was sleepy and happy

And snuggled up, warm in my bed.

I could’ve been dreaming of Springtime

But I’m writing this poem instead.

Now normally I would just give up

And write four lines that sorta rhyme

But tonight I’m the very best version of me

So I’ll waste twice as much of your time.

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Hard Times Make Good Complainers… Good Complainers Make Good Comedy

Say what you will about hard times and such

But I am certain about this much:

When everything’s bad, we have more variety

Of things to go off on when we lose our sobriety.

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Rainy Parking Lot

Little drops of ocean sky

Fall upon my Honda’s hood.

I am warm and dry inside,

Content and sleepy. Life is good.

The raindrops play their glassy drum;

None of them would e’er predict

The mayhem that my wiper blades

Will, on their zen, so soon inflict.

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