Say what you will about hard times and such
But I am certain about this much:
When everything’s bad, we have more variety
Of things to go off on when we lose our sobriety.
Filed under Poems
Little drops of ocean sky
Fall upon my Honda’s hood.
I am warm and dry inside,
Content and sleepy. Life is good.
The raindrops play their glassy drum;
None of them would e’er predict
The mayhem that my wiper blades
Will, on their zen, so soon inflict.
Filed under Poems
The groundhog saw his shadow
And the Summer’s coming soon.
Now we have another choice:
Giant meteor or typhoon?
Filed under Poems
Twinkling blacktop ice
Gleams like diamonds. I turn right
But my car goes left.
Filed under Poems
The waitress took our order
With a smile on her face
And then apparently decided
To desert the human race.
More than half an hour later
We’ve killed a pitcher of beer.
Our senses are still present
Though the help has disappeared.
It’s midnight at the bar,
Then it’s one here at the grill.
Our belly’s good and empty
But our hope is holding still.
We’re waiting on our sandwich
And it’s 2025,
And the chef has just confirmed
That the waitress is alive.
My beard is grey, my hair is gone,
I drool and shift and snore…
Then the waitress comes out smiling
And she says “Five minutes more.”
Filed under Poems
We’ve got our boots and fresh white snow.
We’re in the car and off we go!
We’re gonna ski until the sun
Is dark, we’re cold, and then we’re done.
We’re going to slide across the ice
First left, then right, a swish, a slice,
Until we say “I’ve got this, ace!”
That’s when we’ll fall right on our face.
We’re wet and weak, our feet are sore.
We cannot ski a minute more.
We’re in the car, a happy mess
And that’s how we define success.
Filed under Poems
I am in a cabin
Eating French fries with my wife.
Poetry is great and all
But then again so is my life.
Filed under Poems
New year, new you?
You do that too?
So that makes two
Of us. Who knew!
New year, new me
Is how I see
My future will be
Until January 3.
Then new year’s old
Or so I’m told
So I’ll put on hold
My plans so bold.
Filed under Poems
I was born too late for a peaceful life,
Born to a woman who was not a wife,
Raised by a screen and a TikTok star
With no life skills but a brand new car.
My first day of school was in my bedroom.
I made new friends with the help of Zoom.
My kindergarten cred was instantly blown
‘Cause I’m five years old but using last year’s phone.
I can’t read yet and that won’t change soon
‘Cause Alexa can read me Good Night Moon,
My browser can do homework for me
Thanks to indifferent teachers and a GPT.
By 2050 we’ll be on the presidential stage
Campaigning for a million dollar minimum wage
So better get some rizz unless you’ve got gyat
‘Cause here we come world, ready or not.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 