While I’m on the road
I shop for ammo online.
Times aren’t all that bad!
Tag Archives: Life
I’m A Mediocre Redneck, But I’m Enthusiastic About It
I places 3rd out of 4 teams
At the cornhole tournaments.
I scored 6 points in two games
And I’ve felt so manly since.
I also walked in a cardboard box
And fell on my cardboard face.
That’s a Wednesday afternoon
At my Summer place!
Filed under Poems
D… Wait For It… UUUUUH!
Muffins and pizza and cake are delicious
Although, to my stomach, are often malicious.
Will I endure farting, mood swings, and pudge
To eat one more slice, with a side dish of fudge?
Filed under Poems
Dear Ladies, Love Men
My girl made me a sandwich
And left a little note:
“Sandwich in the fridge. I love you!”
That was all she wrote.
That was all I needed
To get me through the day
And made every struggle, small and large,
Seem perfectly okay.
So when your boyfriend, husband,
Or another man declares
“Go make me a sandwich”
It shows you that he cares
Enough about your love to ask
For what he really needs.
If you want true love to grow
That’s how to sow the seeds.
Filed under Poems
Road Trip Anthem
Today I took a little drive
That did not make me smile and thrive.
I’d summarize the sojourn thusly:
Worthy of a verbal cuss. We
Stopped and go’ed, and go and stop
Now let’s go 80! Was that a cop?
Nope, no cops are on the road
And why can’t that Kia explode?
Also, props to the white car chap
Who had a kitty on his lap.
Those are hours, forever gone
And meanwhile Kia guy lives on…
Filed under Poems
Art
Art.
Art is when your self-expression
Is super meaningful and deep
In a way that nobody else understands.
It doesn’t rhyme
Or look like reality
Or sell in Peoria
(Or anywhere else for that matter).
It has imagery in it
Like “Salty red horse”
Or “Spider fingers”
That evoke people’s minds
But don’t make them think.
Art is for people who feel
Or who have a lot of money
That they need to launder
And also lots of wall space.
Art.
Carrier pigeon with orange sauce.
Filed under Poems
Artistic Priorities
Today I was a DJ
At a wedding for my friends.
It was great, but tiring
And thus this poem ends.
Filed under Poems
The Good Life
Today I played some rock and roll
‘Til ten o’clock at night,
Then when outside to watch a comet
In his fiery flight,
Drank some cool tap water
That soothed a tired throat
And pondered why the universe
Decided ducks should float.
Some of this was worldly
And some was wild and rough
And some was almost childish
But not nearly enough.
So when you watch the news and think
The world has gone to hell
I hope you play some rock and roll
‘Til ten o’clock as well.
Filed under Poems
She’s Lived 90 Years Already, And The Guard Rail Needs to Be Tested Now And Again
I am stuck behind a car
Who doesn’t know quite where they are
And so decide to navigate
By traveling at 28.
I am stuck behind this guy
And starting to examine why
They made a law to punish those
Who ram the guys who hog the roads.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 