Thanks for dinner!
I had lots of fun.
Here’s my number:
911
Tag Archives: Life
Close Calls and My Unintentional Confession That I’m A Wimp Who Doesn’t Know What “Staying Up Late” Means
Some days I stay up too late…
Like right now. (It’s 11:38)
Thanks to my late bedtimes
I’ve kept up with daily rhymes
And not yet inspired your hate.
Filed under Poems
Hail to the Chief(s)
Today the 49ers lost
And Trump was not impeached,
White men still have power
And whales still get beached.
Meanwhile in Kansas City
The fans are seeing red
And cheerful songs from joyful throngs
Are filling smiling heads.
One man’s rent is $1006
And one is $3688.
At least a team of Native Americans
Won for the Golden State!
Filed under Poems
The Event Of A Lifetime
They hosted a party
On the banks of the Styx
For the vice-presidents
And the second-round picks,
The guys who won silver,
Who went out with a flicker,
And all the cheerleaders
Who dated the kicker.
They hosted a party
For the closely defeated
To celebrate those
Who quite nearly succeeded.
I was invited
But stayed home instead
‘Cause I hadn’t stopped trying
And wasn’t yet dead.
Filed under Poems
Dear Muddlers
You want to be listened to
Instead of overheard.
You want a conversation
And not just have a word.
You want to celebrate your life
Instead of just staying alive
And because you know the difference
I know someday you’ll thrive.
Filed under Poems
When You Least Expect It
Sometimes you bite
A chocolate chip cookie
But it’s actually oatmeal raisin.
Sometimes you meet with
A girl you don’t like
But she’s actually really amazin’.
Sometimes you’re hired
For the job of your dreams
Which turns into something you dread.
Sometimes a cookie
Is only a cookie
But sometimes it’s a chimpanzee’s head.
Filed under Poems
Normalcy Is Discouraged
If a thing is worth the work
Required to do it well
Then it is also worth the time
To be lousy as Hell.
If you hunt and fight and sing
And miss and lose and cry
You’ve far surpassed the many
Who were too afraid to try.
The losers of the universe
Die proudly in the sand,
Pleased to bear their battle scars
With dirt upon their hand.
There are no failures in the world
Of doing what’s worthwhile,
For both the best and all the rest
Have earned the right to smile.
Filed under Poems
The Individual
I’ve heard you call me lazy,
Saying I get nothing done,
That I’m pale as a potato
‘Cause I’m never in the sun,
That I show up late for everything
And don’t talk very much
And I try to be romantic
But I just seem out of touch.
What I haven’t heard you saying
Is how still my mind can be
And softly sitting in the dark
I’m happy as can be,
That I fight to leave the comfort
That being lonely can afford
And how loving normal people
Often tends to make me bored.
You talk about the negatives
I often demonstrate.
I admit, of course, I do them
But I do them without hate.
I’m a champion of stillness
And a friend to every stress
And what you call “being nobody”
Is what I call success.
Filed under Poems
New Study Shows Women Are “Marrying Down…”
My car may have it’s share of dings,
I may not buy you fancy things,
I might forget your name a lot,
I might comment “Your mom is hot,”
I might not read your favorite book,
I’ll seldom clean and never cook,
But if you become my wife
You can wear sweat pants for the rest of your life!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 