There once was a mom from Calcutta
Who was sweeter than suga or butta.
Even she had no mercy
For those born in Jersey
So Jersey boys pray to King Tutta.
Tag Archives: Limerick
Thursday Night Football
There once were some Illinois Bears
Who played the ex-redskins by O’hare.
They punted and punted
And punted and punted
And who the heck actually cares?
Filed under Poems
It Pairs Well With Ghoulash
There once were some zombies from Crete
Who hungered for sentient meat.
They sat and moaned “braaains”
‘Til a skeleton came
With some brains and said “Bone appetite.”
Filed under Poems
Boy Howdy… I Mean, Um, They Howdy?
There once was a child from Gestalt
Who thought mean words equaled assault.
Someone said “You are male.”
Now that sayer’s in jail
And I ponder who’s really at fault.
Filed under Poems
It’s My Birthday, So You HAVE To Like The Post
Today is the day if my birth,
When I first breathed the air of the Earth.
Because of my exodus
From my mom’s uterus
I now create poems with mirth.
Filed under Poems
Garden My Turf, Yo
If I were a young urban strawberry
Whose life on the streets turned to robbery
You might think my booty
Would be stabby or shooty
But nope! My violence is clobbery.
Filed under Poems
Bertha Lent Him The Razor
There once was a redneck named Darryl
Whose back hair was fiery and feral.
But he shaved it one year
‘Cause it drank all his beers
But hey shucks! Hair will do what hair’ll!
Filed under Poems
Also, I Won My Girl A Stuffed Llama, So I’m A Better Boyfriend Than You 😋
I went to the state fair today;
We ate scones and rolled in the hay.
We waited in line
Both to ride and to dine
But ‘twas worth it for plenty of play.
Filed under Poems
Episode 12: A New Hope
There once was a Seahawks QB
Who wore a shirt that said “3”.
The fans said “Oh no”
When they watched Russell go
But now they chant “Geno for me!”
Filed under Poems
She’s Cute Though…
My girl was trying to write
A poem for me tonight
She tried rhyming “dominion”
With “In my girls arms”
And that’s when we started the fight.
She requested I write her original poem
So here it is, verbatim:
“The Happiest Place On Earth”
Some may call it Disneyland
But we did not meet a bug.
Others call it Ikea,
Though we came home with a rug.
In my own opinion
The happiest dominion
Is that the happiest place on earth
Is in my girl’s arms.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 