Today is the day if my birth,
When I first breathed the air of the Earth.
Because of my exodus
From my mom’s uterus
I now create poems with mirth.
Tag Archives: Limerick
Garden My Turf, Yo
If I were a young urban strawberry
Whose life on the streets turned to robbery
You might think my booty
Would be stabby or shooty
But nope! My violence is clobbery.
Filed under Poems
Bertha Lent Him The Razor
There once was a redneck named Darryl
Whose back hair was fiery and feral.
But he shaved it one year
‘Cause it drank all his beers
But hey shucks! Hair will do what hair’ll!
Filed under Poems
Also, I Won My Girl A Stuffed Llama, So I’m A Better Boyfriend Than You 😋
I went to the state fair today;
We ate scones and rolled in the hay.
We waited in line
Both to ride and to dine
But ‘twas worth it for plenty of play.
Filed under Poems
Episode 12: A New Hope
There once was a Seahawks QB
Who wore a shirt that said “3”.
The fans said “Oh no”
When they watched Russell go
But now they chant “Geno for me!”
Filed under Poems
She’s Cute Though…
My girl was trying to write
A poem for me tonight
She tried rhyming “dominion”
With “In my girls arms”
And that’s when we started the fight.
She requested I write her original poem
So here it is, verbatim:
“The Happiest Place On Earth”
Some may call it Disneyland
But we did not meet a bug.
Others call it Ikea,
Though we came home with a rug.
In my own opinion
The happiest dominion
Is that the happiest place on earth
Is in my girl’s arms.
Filed under Poems
And The Items On The Shelves Sighed With Relief
There once was an Isle of Cat
Where the felines were wild and fat.
They all got along great,
Which is something cats hate,
So they ran away, and that was that.
Filed under Poems
Meta Stuff Is Cool Again, Right?
There once was a guy who drove home
And was tired from toes to his dome.
He wrote a lazy limerick
And rhymed it with slimmer dick
And this won’t get published in my next tome.
Filed under Poems
Autobiographical, And An Apology In Advance If I Miss Tomorrow’s Poem
Once again this poem went
To the wilds, and pitched him a tent.
The wifi was iffy
But present, so spiffy!
On that wifi this poem is sent.
Filed under Poems
Your Math Teacher Warned You…
There once was a magical hero
Who divided the whole world by zero.
Trof huaknr jshfl ej
Helfpbe nfhoshe nej
Htppbej jfhw jfjr yeega beero.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 