Tag Archives: Parody

December 22, 2023 · 8:01 pm

Not Saying Santa Advocates Piracy, But…

Jingle bells on a reindeer’s chest

Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum

A long night ahead with not much rest

Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum

The elves made toys

For good girls and boys

But what the kids today enjoy’s

An iThingy

In 4k HD

With a USB

And a ho ho ho and a bottle of rum

Nine deer flew but just six came back

Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum

Three collapsed ‘neath the Chinese sack

Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum

Chimneyless homes

With their bulletproof domes

Are wherever he roams

Gluten free cookie lasses

Left him soy milk glasses

Which make him pass gasses

So a ho ho ho and a bottle of rum

Fifteen elves still employed at best

Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum

Xi Jinping gone outsourced the rest

So its ho ho ho and a bottle of rum

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November 26, 2023 · 1:11 pm

Carol Of The Belch

Hark! Hear the belch, deep throaty belch
That seems to say, “Guys, I’m ok!”
Family is here, bringing cheap beer
To young and old (or so I’m told).
Ding-dong-ding-dong: The doorbell’s song.
Another aunt? I really can’t…

One wants to say “Please go away”
They’re everywhere, breathing our air.
Family is bound to be around
And to pick fights o’er petty spites.
Merry happy jolly (insert day here)

Maybe gimme some of that cheap lite beer…

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September 25, 2023 · 6:03 pm

When Your Wife Meets The Minotaur And Has To Give Birth In An Echoey Cave

Mary had a little lamb

Little lamb

Little lamb…

Mary had a little lamb

And the obstetrician fainted

Fainted

Fainted…

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June 28, 2023 · 7:38 pm

JJ Abrams Does Shakespeare

Whereupon the stymied patisserie

So quotidien in its avarice

Did lament the paternal accessorie

Whom were betwixt its effervescence

So flattering were its satellites

In the corona of solarium

That I could end this poem

Without rhyming.

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June 26, 2023 · 7:27 pm

Have You Seen The New “Winnie The Pooh” Movie By DC?

There once was a bear with a shirt

Whose heart filled with blackness and hurt.

He had no friends or money

So he ate all the honey

And the end of the world did avert.

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May 27, 2023 · 9:32 pm

The Day God Made Africa?

And on the twenty-second day

God said “Let 99 men moisten the grass

“And the hundredth man you shall eschew”.

Even then it was widely known

That one hundred men or more

Could never dew.

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March 22, 2023 · 9:08 pm

And Most Artists Are Good At It…

Part of making art

Is having sincere belief

That your crap is gold.

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December 25, 2022 · 8:58 pm

The Ballad Of Suckbot (Chapter 1)

Suckbot the Roomba

Was a very well-loved gift

For my fiancee, who went home today

And watched that vacuum drift.

Suckbot the Roomba

Was an appliance, technically,

But my girl said “Dave, my time you’ll save

“Merry Christmas. Heeheehee!”

You should’ve seen the cat jump at

The sound when we pressed go,

But after some stalking he went walking

Back to his chair and so

Suckbot the Roomba

Has become our second pet.

You say “What’s the fuss?” But he’s a child to us

And he’s not even charged yet!

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December 24, 2022 · 8:27 pm

When You Think You’re Setting Yourself Up For A Challenge, But Then Everything Goes Way Too Easily

I promised myself I wouldn’t write

Another “Night before Christmas” parody.

So now I have to come up with

Hard rhymes, like “Carroty”.

Also included are “Parity”,

“Ferrety”, “charity”, “merrity”,

“Clarity”, “plurality,” “McGarrity”, “Jarret E.”

I guess those rhymes aren’t such a rarity!

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November 27, 2022 · 5:07 pm

Christmas Music After They Take Jesus Out

You know Penis and Meatstick, Schlong, Dong, and ManPalace,

Manparts, “The Ramparts,” and Weiner and Phallus,

But do you recall

The most famous Mickey of all?

Mickey the big-dick Reindeer

Had a very shiny body part

And if you go deep enough on Google

You can probably find fan art. (Please don’t try this!)

All of the other reindeer

Used to laugh, except the does.

They just avoided contact

To not be labelled ho-ho-hoes.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve

Santa came to say…

“Mickey, the elves started an insurrection.

I have need of your balls and weighty erection.”

Then how the laughter halted

As they watched the rebels flee.

“We’re sorry for feeling threatened

By your girthy masculinity!”

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