You probably didn’t think
That evidence you’d find
To elect a Pokémon,
But I hope to change your mind:
So if you are American
(Or not, we don’t really check)
Vote Meowth 2020
‘Cause hey! What the heck?
Tag Archives: Poetry
A Poetical Update/Cry For Help
As I was reading through my blog
Upon this snowy day
I realized there’s lots of posts
That, by default, went away.
There are two-thousand-something poems
That I’ve written on this site
And to have them be forgotten
Just really isn’t right.
I looked into solutions
But to add a button here
To send you to a random post
Costs $600 a year (Seriously WordPress? Seriously?)
So my solution to preserve
Those posts into which I put thought
Is to compile a book that’s bigger
Than the books you’ve already bought. (Hint hint)
So a thing that I am wondering
About my biggest-book-yet dream
Is whether to just compile stuff
Or whether to have a theme.
And here’s the part where you come in:
Please help me make you happy
By commenting or emailing me
Advice to make the book less crappy…
Is an omnibus of random poems
With my thoughts added enough
Or do you want a theme again
With more never-published stuff?
And if, of course, you don’t reply
I’ll just decide myself
But I’ll make the cover aubergine
So it looks weird on your shelf 🙂
Comments welcomed on the site, or emailed to thedailytravesty@yahoo.com
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Honesty
I used to be wealthy, handsome, and brave.
I used to be known as whom all women crave.
I used to be humble, witty, and wise
But then I stopped speaking in nothing but lies.
Filed under Poems
Why English Is Hard
How do you pronounce vapid,
Plein air, eschew, or bow?
Then when you factor in typoes
You really never now.
Filed under Poems
Life In Washington State
Two inches of snow
Means schools are closed tomorrow.
Colorado laughs.
Filed under Poems
Socialism: Free Trial Edition
If you’re tired of Trump
Then make the jump
To sunny Venezuela!
There you can shirk
And do no work
And the socialist state will pay ya!
You’ll save so much money
It isn’t funny
‘Cause there’s nothing for sale to buy
So if you bite your thumb
‘Cause there’s no food to bum
You can tell South America “hi.”
Filed under Poems
AI Writes A Country Song
Today I’m bored and kinda tired,
For sure not feeling too inspired,
So a thought emerged within my head:
Let robots do my job instead!
So I was nit at all upset
When a robot said “I can write a rhyming couplet.”
I said “write me a country song,”
And here’s the poem that came along:
——————————————————–
See the hightailing of the cowboy,
I think he’s angry at the ahoy.
He finds it hard to see the horse,
Overshadowed by the rainy field of force.
Who is that yodeling near the saddle?
I think she’d like to eat the cattle.
She is but a rural addition,
Admired as she sits upon a position.
Her leather car is just a beer,
It needs no gas, it runs on steer.
She’s not alone she brings a dog,
a pet dog, and lots of parts catalogue.
The dog likes to chase a truck,
Especially one that’s in the dabbling duck.
The cowboy shudders at the country gun
He want to leave but she wants the bun.
——————————————————–
The poem’s bad, and I think it’s neat
That I am not yet obsolete.
Sure, technology is fun
But robots 0, human 1.
Dear Washington…
Those who take the roles
Of conducting political polls
Should receive an MD
In proctology
For their research in helping assholes.
Filed under Poems
The Last Jedi’s Valentine
A dozen roses can show your love
If flowers are what your love adores
But if you send a Rose Tico
You might accidentally kill Star Wars.
Filed under Poems
Guest Poem By Michael Bay
There once was a musclebound maverick
Who lived on a houseboat back east
Whose hobby was arm-wrestling pythons
And whose fingers’ tattoos spelled out “B.E.A.S.T.”
A menace that threatened America
Made the president call him to arms.
Then there was a gratuitous explosion
And a lot of red flashing alarms.
So Maverick emerged from retirement,
Shook hands with some buddies from ‘Nam
Then one more gratuitous explosion
This time from a nuclear bomb.
A scantily clad 20-something
Kissed Maverick and gave him a knife
After which he confronted the menace,
There was a gratuitous explosion…
Thus endeth the big bad guy’s life.
Somewhere in there’s a Bugatti
And a shirtless training montage.
You might think this doesn’t make sense,
Thus explosions and décolletage.
Filed under Poems
