Bill Nye became a science guy
Because he rhymed his name
But my parents still won’t tell me why
I cannot do the same…
Tag Archives: Poetry
Somewhere, In Their Parents’ Basement, Is An Overworked Game Designer Making Voting Machines
In every Pokemon game
The story is the same.
In Zelda, the main canon
Is the bad guy’s always Ganon.
So if you say that Russia
Is rigging elections, I’ll shush ya
‘Cause if anybody can
I’d guess the culprit is Japan.
Filed under Poems
It’s Never Easy In Seattle
The Seahawks today were a flyin’
When they beat a Michigan Lion:
With three turnovers, ‘twas prominent
How they were utterly dominant
And so barely squeaked out a win.
Filed under Poems
A Limerick About Mobile Games
There once was a Candy Crush knockoff
There twice was a Candy Crush knockoff
There thrice was a knockoff
Four times was a knockoff
Five times was a Candy Crush knockoff
Filed under Poems
Classic Literature
Of all the editors who ever were
One doesn’t get enough credit:
Somebody read “69,046.767 miles under the sea” And asked “have you heard of a league?”
(The other editors never read it)
Filed under Poems
Enough Is Enough
Why do we keep electing the people
Who think that it’s totally cool
To make a new law that requires a sign
That says “Wet Floor” and goes in the pool?
Filed under Poems
Dear Christians… There Is Only One
Let me introduce myself:
My name is Danny Michael.
I’m a circus performer
And I ride the unicycle.
I’m glad you guys are happy
But imagine how you’d feel
If you were me, and you kept telling
Jesus to take the wheel…
Filed under Poems
Still Better Than The Cardinals
There once was a team from New York
That played like a twelve-week-old pork.
They signed Aaron Rodgers
But that poor old codger’s
Injured now, and they ask “What the fork?”
Filed under Poems
And Then We Got The Modern TSA…
‘Twas the night before National Report Medicare Fraud Day
And all of the drama
Happened in NYC
Largely due to Osama.
The planes were a flying
And the pilots were wild
And the towers that were twins
Became an only-child.
But alas, that new status
Was not long for this world
As another plane crashed
And tower two curled.
Then we heard men exclaim
As the tow’rs became soil:
“Yay American unity!
“Now let’s go steal some oil.”
Filed under Poems
If You Yerd A Piñata, You’re Doing It Right
I am both a poet and nerd
And I learned a most interesting word:
It’s definition: “To beat
“An object with a stick.” Neat?
The word, as I learned it, is “Yerd”.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 