So Tuesday night on ABC
Two candidates arrived
And competed for whose speeches
Sounded the least contrived.
Some faces asked them questions
Which neither deigned to answer.
It assured me of my decision:
That it’s time to vote for cancer.
Tag Archives: Politics
I, For One, Am On Board For Voluntarily Sharing Cake With Responsible People
Government is what happens
When you can’t share a cake
So mom and dad call the neighbor
Who takes the cake from you
And eats 90 percent of it
And gives you all a piece of celery
That doesn’t even have peanut butter
And invades Iran
Because you’re racist.
Filed under Poems
Seriously, Why Can’t We Just Have Attractive White People Starring In Original Stories With No Agenda?
There once wasn’t a modern crowd
Compelled to cheer out loud
For a diversity quota,
Caring even one iota
That the princess was now unibrowed.
Filed under Poems
The Great Reset
Sometime in 1988
We finished the political game
And now we’re playing as the final boss
And discovering the devs made him lame.
I move we return to the menu
And delete our saved data, restarting
At the level where we’re naked cave people
And we elect leaders by farting.
Filed under Poems
Talk On The Streets
There once was a potato named Joe
Who forgot how to talk on a show.
He had a sidekick
Who was black and a chick
And what’s that I hear? Overthrow?
Filed under Poems
This Is The Entire Extent Of My Political Activism
I have a cat named Marshmallow.
He’s fat, lazy, stupid, and more.
I urge you to write him on your ballot
For president, 2024.
Filed under Poems
Or, You Know, A Crippling Depression Once A Century Or So…
I don’t believe in giving the government
Unlimited power to spend
Because what if they give
Drum sets to all who live?
See how badly all this could end?
Filed under Poems
Honestly, Don’t Limit It To Just Movies
I think instead of IMDB
Or Rotten Tomatoes reviews
We just need a site to completely compile
Liberal white women’s reviews.
Then you can see which films don’t appeal
To Karen and Kaitlyn and co.
That would inform me much more directly
If a film will be funny or no.
Filed under Poems
In One Ear And Out The Same Ear
If I ever try to be president
I’ll be a republican household name
Because if the other sise doesn’t like me
They don’t know how to aim.
Filed under Poems
Heaven Forbid!
I’m sensing some commonplace themes
That is fear of fascist regimes
Where government’s shrinking
And people start thinking
And grocery receipts don’t cause screams
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 