Grassy field,
Snowy chicken,
Sandy bug spray,
Yep to the tooth helpers.
Greedy locks mispelled rent
As goose.
This poem still makes more sense
Than the “share on twitter” link
On porn websites.
Tag Archives: Postaday
Why Grammar Matters
A world without adjectives
Would suck
But it wouldn’t be bad
Would blow
But it wouldn’t be sad
Would eat your soul
But not in a negative way.
A world without adverbs
Things happen,
People run
Other people run
Some are faster
But we’ll never know which.
A world without verbs
Blue, stagnant,
Highly descriptive,
Shorter than previous stanzas.
A world without nouns
Write this if you dare.
Filed under Poems
TMI?
I wanted to let you know
I wrote this poem on the toilet.
I thought it best to keep it brief
In case that secret did spoil it.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
The Spectacle
Some are pointing,
Some are staring,
But not a person
Is not caring.
“Who’s that guy?”
The women question.
The men ask for
Workout suggestions.
But as I look,
Trying not to leer,
I simply ask
“Why the mirrors here?”
Filed under Poems
Why I’d Make A Lousy Ghost
I try to be original
When compliments I make.
I try not to be boring
For the complimentee’s sake,
So purely inintentional
Was my word-choice slight.
Who knew “you’re an opaque one”
Was not thought as polite?
Filed under Poems
Dietary Councilling
They called me an airhead,
A dumdum, a flake,
A limp blob of pudding
And, worse still, a snake.
I guess that it’s true –
One is as one eats.
I’ll back off on the reptiles,
But never the sweets.
Filed under Poems
Remember November
What’s sharp and made of plastic
And smells like chalk and spit?
I don’t know, but I’d enjoy
A chance to vote for it.
Filed under Poems
A Eulogy For Chivalry
When I see modern people
Here’s what’s going through my mind:
The eye of the beholder
Must be legally blind.
You think a girl is only pretty
If she’s so young they have to card her
And a man is only worthy
If he works hard and plays harder.
While taking off your shirt
Can be your gender-neutral ace
You can be even more attractive
By putting metal in your face.
You know a girl’s high-status
If she can get a friend to snap her
A photo for her profile
Besides the mirror in the crapper.
If you lack a personality
Emojiis have your back.
If all else fails chicks dig it
When you compliment their rack.
These days you are a chauvinist
By opening a door
But if you care about her day
You come off as a bore.
We relegate the olden days
Away on mental shelves.
We may still lay coats over puddles
But now we step on them ourselves.
Filed under Poems
A Big Discovery
Big picture,
Big cheese,
Big idea,
Big sneeze…
When on the word “big”
You get reflective
It seems to go in front of everything
As if it were an adjective.
Filed under Poems
