Imagine a world where all is at peace,
A world without hunger or toil,
And ponder how easy a thing it would be
To go bomb them and take all their oil.
Tag Archives: Postaday
Shakespeare 101
Once in fair Europe two men
Were squabbling comedically when
The audience got bored
So they pulled out a seord
And everyone dies in the end.
Filed under Poems
Ode To An English Major
In a dreary campus sat
Poor I, a poet, much perturbed
For I was realizing that
My odds of passing were disturbed.
Th’examination that I took
Was one on poetry, so I
Did not much study from my book
But sat the test, my brain still dry.
Yes, I could name poetic styles
Sonnet, Sestina, Villanelle.
I blacked out bubbles, full of smiles,
‘Til did important topics knell.
I can distinguish couplet forms
Iamb, Trochee, and Anapest.
Easily I fought these questions swarmed
But failed at what mattered best:
A final question on the page
The exam’s author failed to anoint
And my lack of answer caused me rage.
The question: “What’s the fucking point?”
Filed under Poems
P. Diddy? More Like R. Chaic! (Gregorian Ba Dum Tss)
I suspect between 476-1450 AD
The pedophiles cried and raged
Because even the youngest of children
Were all still middle aged.
Filed under Poems
Felines Don’t Count Syllables
Tonight I’m a cat.
Why don’t you write me a poem?
Also, feed me peasant.
Filed under Poems
Why Aren’t Billionaires Doing This?
When I get rich, I want to buy
All the ads for my favorite shows
And just put a 3-second picture up
To make sure everyone knows
That the reason you don’t have to watch
A billion stupid ads
Is because I’m rich and I think they suck
So enjoy the bandwidth, lads!
Chief Energizer Officer Sought For Fast-Paced Executive Opportunity
We’re hiring for a guinea pig
To work for forty hours
Making coffee for the mucky-mucks
With offices in towers.
The role pays $20k a year
So let’s post the job. Maybe
We’ll say that it pays 50k
And needs a master’s degree!
Filed under Poems
The 30-Second Poetry Special
A poet once went on a break
Which turned out to be a mistake
‘Cause he hurried to finish
His limerick, diminish
Ing his perfect lyrical break.
Filed under Poems
Really? No Takers?
If you’re not in a haste
To reduce government waste
I invite you to pay
Extra taxes today
Filed under Poems
The Ghost Busters Reboot We Wanted, But Disney Won’t Approve My Script
I think they should have a Ghostbusters
Where they find a haunted house
But they’re not allowed to cleanse it
‘Cause some fat chick in a blouse
Hears some old white men are coming
And they’re going to exercise
And she wants no part of that.
Then the ghosts come and she dies.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 