If you make some lemon chiffon
Then add escargot and dijon
Then turn up the mixer
You make an elixir
That makes wife cook all meals from now on.
Tag Archives: Relationships
Diamonds Are Forever… Like Taxes
“Nothing gold can stay“
Is another way to say
If you’re male and not gay
You’re gonna have to pay.
Filed under Poems
Feminism Did That
So babe, I heard you want a ring.
You need to know there’s just one thing…
You already have one in your nose
And that’s why thus your love life goes.
Filed under Poems
Look At The Bright Side… Or Don’t… Do Whatever You Want
I asked my wife for a random word
To inspire my poem tonight.
Here eyes went wide, her gaze went blank,
And she went towards the light.
Now alone and uninspired
I type this tepid verse
But at least it’s quiet in the house
So I guess it could be worse.
Filed under Poems
Saturday Night In Paradise
I played a 30-turn Mario Party.
It made my wife tired and made our cat farty.
I won via stealing three stars from my wife
And that is why I’m satisfied with my life.
Filed under Poems
My Marriage
She says “What?”
I say “Your butt.”
Then we both smile
And snuggle a while.
Filed under Poems
It’s Important To Listen, But…
There once was a female spouse
Who said “Hi” as I came in the house.
She told me her stories,
Her pains, and her glories,
And now I need to write a poem before I go to bed… ouse.
Filed under Poems
Why Won’t He Wife Me?
Everybody tells me that he’s poison
And is blood is made of boiling gasoline.
He’s never loved anybody more than himself
And he’s a barrel-chested killing machine.
He eats a baby bunny for his breakfast.
He’s got Bambi’s mommy mounted on the wall.
He’s a runner and a gunner and a scoundrel
And like OMG, I hope he’s six feet tall!
Filed under Poems
Big Girls Are Settling Now
I read an inspiring article
About how blue whales reproduce.
Apparently, they interbreed with fin whales
Who are not as large or recluse.
The fact that these largest of animals
Might bring their endangerment to an end
Gives me hope. It should give you hope too
That a blue whale might be your girlfriend.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 