“The devil plays the violin,
The instrument of mortal sin.”
I told her this, then said hello.
#How to not pick up girls who play cello
Tag Archives: Short
If You Think This Poem Rhymes You Probably Aren’t Rich
You can tell if someone’s more likely
To play basketball or the harp
By whether they write #F
Or instead they write F#
Filed under Poems
Guys and Dolls, Mother Russia Edition
I once went shopping at the mall
With a Russian guy and a Russian doll.
The Russian guy could reach the top shelf
But the Russian doll was too full of herself.
Filed under Poems
Star Wars Episode IX
The stormtrooper lands
In Nairobi, Kenya
And fires his blaster
Into the falling H2O.
The Jedi asks the trooper
“What was all that?”
And the trooper says
“I miss the rains down in Africa.”
*Roll Credits*
Filed under Poems
Priorities
I don’t see why we’re worrying
About regulating guns
When supermarkets sell packages
Of eight hot dogs and ten buns.
Filed under Poems
About Your Pet Spider…
If you tell me to take care of
A monster with eight eyes
I hope you won’t be unhappy
When it inevitably dies.
Filed under Poems
This Poem Was Originally Going To Be Longer, But It’s Sponsored By Apple’s Battery Supplier
I asked how she was feeling
And she said “Around 90%.”
That’s when I said
“If you were an iPhone you’d be dead,”
And that’s how my Wednesday went.
Filed under Poems
The Nose Ring Origin Story?
I wonder who first got the notion
That to enhance one’s beauty and grace
And inspire mens’ loving devotion
They should stick some hardware in their face.
Filed under Poems
Nautical Issues
“I don’t know how to say this…”
Jason said to Captain Tull,
“But the otorhinolaryngologist
“Spilled Worcestershire sauce in the forecastle.”
Filed under Poems
It Rhymes, So It Doesn’t Have To Be Meaningful
I saw the custard being poured…
Flowing, flowing flan.
Then the custard pourer tripped…
Going going gone.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 