Birthday cake is good.
Every day someone is born.
Ergo: I am fat.
Tag Archives: Short
News I Learned From Memes Interpreted As A Haiku Because Thursday
Trump’s on Epstein’s list.
Someone’s gun went boom too soon.
England’s a hellhole.
Filed under Poems
My Favorite Superhero
We’ve got people addicted to drugs,
Alcohol, porn, and their phones
Yet my cat hears someone say “pspspspsps”
And just feels content deep in his bones.
Filed under Poems
Cosmic Injustice
Mercury has thermometers.
Venus has carnivorous plants.
Mars has chocolate candy
But Earth gets freakin’ ants?!
Filed under Poems
Frodo’s Notes In The Margin
“Bring the ring to Mordor, kid”
Gandalf told me and so I did.
It caused me scars that forever linger,
Mostly that I can’t give Gandalf the finger.
Filed under Poems
Thanks, Millennials
If you’d like a hamburger
It only costs a dollar.
If you want cheese on it
It’ll cost you dollars two.
Want to add some bacon?
That’s two dollars fifty.
Want some avacado?
Your firstborn kid will do.
Filed under Poems
Or Did The Fact They Never Heated Up Mean The Prophecy Came True After All?
Somebody said to the NFL
“You gotta cool your jets”.
Alas, the Jets were never cool
Not unlike marionettes.
Filed under Poems
They Were Viva-ing La Vida Alright…
There once was a CEO
Who went to a Coldplay show.
The HR-H.O.E.
Said, “Kiss cam? OMG!”
And now the whole world’s in the know.
Filed under Poems
The YouTuber’s Origin Story
One camera.
Two fools.
Three hours of editing.
Zero rules.
Nine minutes
About a cruise.
Two hours later
Seven views.
Filed under Poems
Who Needs AI When You Have A Wife?
No AC?
Just live under a tree.
It’s cool as can be.
Just wait and see!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 