The Left
If your daughter tells you “Mother
“I am actually your son”
Then tell him that’s amazing
And he’s still your favorite one.
The Right
If she says she wants testosterone
Tell her she’s testost-on-her-own.
Tag Archives: Short
Animals Come In All Forms
“It’s my emotional support animal”, I said
But she just continued to glare.
She must prefer her support fluffy
But I like mine medium-rare.
Filed under Poems
They Always Said He Was Watching…
So I got a notification
That says God is following my blog…
I guess I’m no longer an atheist
And perhaps I should learn how to jog?
Filed under Poems
Now THAT Was Painful
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again
But Humpty was happy that all was resolved
Without the Minnesota Vikings involved.
Filed under Poems
Ah Yes… You Charge Us More To Remind Us To Pay You To Help Them Steal From Us
At 11:59 on December 31st
A ball fell in NYC.
It was at that moment Turbotax
Said “It’s time to remind you of me!”
Filed under Poems
Crossfit
There once was a marketing guy
Who was looking for what you should buy.
There was a gym with some rope
And he said “It’d be dope
“If we whip those around. Don’t ask why.”
Filed under Poems
Last Season’s Alcohol: Corona… This Season’s Alcohol: Fireball
To all of you who laughed at me
When I said “Dragons are real”
I present you: California.
Now how do you feel?
Filed under Poems
I’m Doing My Part
With the recent rise of terrorism
And assassination attempts, please
Remember it was Robert Selander (Mastercard CEO)
Who invented “Convenience Fees”.
Filed under Poems
Honest Resolutions
This year was wild and crazy
And I was indulgent and lazy.
This year I’ll endeavor
To sleep more than ever
And get rich like Martin Scorsese.
Filed under Poems
We’ll Start Next Year
Two days left to go
Of this wild and crazy year…
Peaceful at the gym
Filed under Poems
