Tag Archives: Short

0.3 Ounces Of Pure Evil (Mouse Saga Pt. 1)

Little mouse

In our house

Upsetting my future spouse

Makes me decide

Mouse genocide

May very well be justified.

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The Most Annoying Sound In The Universe

There once was a CO detector

That was meant to be a home protector.

It beeps loudly at night

Though the battery’s alright

So I hit it with an axe and wrecked ‘er!

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And If She’s A Snail, We Might Go Back To Her Place

If I met an invertebrate

I’d probably try to flirt a bit.

I’d say “You look fine”

“With your lack of a spine“

Then possibly lift up her skirt a bit.

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Yes, This Poem Is Meaningless. That’s The Point (Or Is It? bum Bum BUUUUUUUUUUM!!!)

There once was a fellow name Mao

And nobody’s quite certain how

Without any trepidation

He subverted expectation

And that’s how you Hollywood now.

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12 Vs. 22

“My tummy hurts.

My throat is sore.

I don’t want to go school no more.“

“My soul is charred.

My dreams are dead.

Take an aspirin and go to bed.”

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I Used To Write These At 11:59. Now I Write Them At 8:56. I Must Be Getting Old

I played D&D tonight

And we had an epic fight.

Now this nerd must rest his head

Because it’s past his time for bed.

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America’s Great Mistake

Wild turkey

Powerful majestic bird

Bald eagles are overrated

Turkeys are tasty

And kind

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Privacy Would Be Preferred Tonight

There once was a Valentine’s Day

When I wasn’t alone (it’s today)

But I lacked the foresight

To post a poem before tonight

So here you go. Now go away!

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When She Bakes You Brownies On A First Date

Your eyes are as pink as the ocean.

Your hair is like marshmallow fluff.

I don’t know if our love is true yet

But I know that your drugs are real.

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State of the Union Reaction

I think everything should be free

‘Cause I saw a speech on TV.

I’m glad that the rich

Agree they’re our bitch

And they’ll buy my whole wishlist for me!

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