I’ve heard people say leftists are happy
With Trump’s economics. A specific
Comment I heard is that they are feeling
A really strong feeling of tariff-ick.
Tag Archives: Silly
The Marital Bed
There once was a bed with a pillow
Then a wife did enter the room
And thus my one-pillow system
Began to sense its doom.
First came two big long pillows
That stretched across the bed
And did everything a pillow should
Except help rest your head.
Then came two fluffy square ones
That aren’t the same color or size
Because apparently symmetry
Is not good for a female’s eyes.
Then came that little round novelty
With a pic of my mother-in-law
And now I don’t sleep with a pillow at all,
Put my head on mattress all raw.
Filed under Poems
Let Freedom Ring!
Imagine a world where all is at peace,
A world without hunger or toil,
And ponder how easy a thing it would be
To go bomb them and take all their oil.
Filed under Poems
The 30-Second Poetry Special
A poet once went on a break
Which turned out to be a mistake
‘Cause he hurried to finish
His limerick, diminish
Ing his perfect lyrical break.
Filed under Poems
Not To Mention Big Feet…
Some people believe in fantasy creatures
Like mermaids and centaurs and such.
Most people come to conclude those beliefs
Are, politely, “a little bit much.”
Some people believe in fantasy creatures
But I think we should give them a pass;
Sure, I’ve never known a fish-tailed woman
But I’ve known plenty with a horse’s ass.
Filed under Poems
Modern Literature
Irritating, aggravating,
Enervating, asinine,
Childish, boorish, makes-me-snore-ish,
Meaningless but mostly fine,
Stupid, senseless, mauve, relentless,
Bleaker than “Old Yeller”,
And somehow amidst these reviews
A New York Times Bestseller…
Filed under Poems
Je ne peux pas me marier parce qu’il y a un dinosaure dans l’église
Duolingo says I’m wrong
When I type “La buste” instead of “Le buste”
But it also told me it couldn’t get married because there was a dinosaur in the church
So I’m not really sure who to trust.
Filed under Poems
What Effect Was That Again?
With all the hurricanes and fires
And political unrest
I think it’s time we kill the butterflies.
Take heart. It’s for the best!
Filed under Poems
Look At The Bright Side… Or Don’t… Do Whatever You Want
I asked my wife for a random word
To inspire my poem tonight.
Here eyes went wide, her gaze went blank,
And she went towards the light.
Now alone and uninspired
I type this tepid verse
But at least it’s quiet in the house
So I guess it could be worse.
Filed under Poems
The Worst Place That Everyone Wants To Be?
Anerica is an evil place
Led by terrible rapists and thieves
And yet people say it violates their rights
If anyone asks them to leave?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 