Tonight, when playing pickleball
I did a little dance
While trying to smack that fickle ball
And oops! I ripped my pants!
I learned to play more cautiously.
Also, for what it’s worth
I’ve secured my reputation
As the whitest man on Earth.
Tag Archives: Silly
Public Transit Life Hack
If you say “Sentimental Salamander” ten times
Then bellow, “Meet your doom”
People on the train will give you space
So yay to more leg room!
Filed under Poems
7-9-7
If you make a long haiku
With too many syllables in it
Nothing changes. Lighten up.
Filed under Poems
Nightmare? Or Dream Job?
Curtains rise. Spotlight.
I am in my underwear.
Modeling is weird.
Filed under Poems
He’s Exploring Alternate Channels…
There once was a man in DC
Who wrote bill A11-03.
Before it was codified
Its contents were modified
And now it’s illegal to pee.
Filed under Poems
Is This How Marketing Works?
Are you ugly?
Do you have a small penis?
Can you delineate the difference
Between a species and a genus?
If you answered no
To any of these questions
Then you’ll enjoy my poetry!
Filed under Poems
TSA*
My travel agent pats my back
And loads me in the trough
And says “You’re saving CO2”
And then I’m taking off.
*Short for “Trebuchet Substitute Anyone?”
Filed under Poems
Pirate Movies > Pirate Guns
As television became popular
Cannon deaths at sea have decreased
So I will continue to watch TV
And be grateful that I’m not deceased.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 