They have hot dogs; they have buns.
They have lunch meat; they have pancakes.
The equivalence I want to know:
What sort of meat a pair with waffles makes.
Tag Archives: Silly
Really Strained For That Rhyme… But Seriously! I Want Meat With Little Pits For The Syrup!
Filed under Poems
Paper And Scissors Can’t Top This
I exercised my glutes until they were hard as rock.
I entered a hardass contest and thought I was a lock.
I flex my bum! The judges gasp! I’m certain that I’ve got ‘em!
But even though my butt won first, I’d really hit rock bottom.
Filed under Poems
Art Is Subjective
People always say
“I miss the good old days”
But I think that’s misguided
In many different ways,
Chief of which is that
Although they made so many gargoyles
And so many fountains
The two were very seldom combined,
Which means we’ve had thousands of years
That could have had gargling gargoyles
And yet we got garden gnomes.
Filed under Poems
Why People Are Getting Married Less Nowadays
Glorious, glamorous, glandular, gassy,
Serious, spurious, sanctified, sassy,
Furious, fabulous, fortified, fun:
If they match all these adjectives, you’ve found the one!
Filed under Poems
Don’t Do Drugs… Or Poetry
If I had a chicken
Made of a golden laser beam
I’d think the Altoids that I bought
Were not as they would seem…
Filed under Poems
Relationship Goals
“Hey girl”, I texted.
“What’s up?” She replied.
Then I flashed back to the first three minutes of Pixar’s masterpiece, “Up”
And inevitably cried.
Filed under Poems
What New Devilry Is This?
Somewhere down in baby hell
Are Lucifer and Baphomet,
Asmodeus, Apollyon,
Satan, and Adramalech
All laughing at demonic stuff
But here’s the evil rub:
There’s a new kid in the devil school.
His name’s Beelzebub.
His family comes from South Missouri
And his dad’s name was Cletus
And he’d been groomed for devilhood
Since he was a fetus.
The devils might have picked on him
‘Til he was a broken husk
But then a savior came along:
A baby devil named by Elon Musk.
Filed under Poems
Relationship Advice
If you want to impress a woman
Ask “Will you be my girlfrien?”
She’ll say no, because you forgot the “d”.
Then you grin at her
And say “You’ll get the ‘d’ later”
Then you can say “thank you” to me.
Versatility 101
“There’s no such thing as magic”
Is what the stranger said,
So I dropped the pulsing rainbow orb
And hit him with a pan instead.
Filed under Poems
Halloween Eve And Christmas Eve Are Not The Same
Tomorrow we’ll dress up
And take candy from strangers
Then listen to music
About Santa and mangers
But tonight we’ll eat ice cream
And go to Ikea
And buy toilet paper
For Tuesday’s diarrhea.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 