If you say something sweet to a glacier
And it melts their icy heart
They quietly whisper, “thawwwwwww”
And that’s how global warming starts.
Tag Archives: Stupid
How Wars Start
Iran said to America, “You da bomb.”
America said, “No, you da bomb.”
And everything would have been ok
Except Israel ran and told their mom.
Filed under Poems
Ted Talks Nowadays
Maybe if we hugged
Pterodactyls every day
We would have world peace
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Cheese comes from a can
Also from mammal udders
Therefore cows are steel
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Climate change is bad.
So is hitting little kids.
#ChangedMyLife
Filed under Poems
Dad Jokes Just Got Nerdier
Knock knock. Who’s there? Joe.
Joe who? Joe Mom! LOL!
My poor future kids…
Filed under Poems
“SPF 50” Means 50 Seconds Of Safety
“Put on some sunscreen,” they said,
“Or else you’ll get all burnt and red.”
Now my flesh is peeling
And I have the feeling
That I have been grossly misled.
Filed under Poems
And For June’s Bingo Card…
Donald and Elon sitting in a tree
T.W… oops… X.I.N.G.
First come threats
War comes later
And wait, is that Kanye playing mediator?
Filed under Poems
It Rhymes With Duck (And It’s One Of The Words Timmy CAN Spell)
Timmy was a troubled child
Who wouldn’t do his work.
When Timmy didn’t pass his class
His mom became a jerk
And met with Timmy’s principal:
“If Timmy doesn’t walk
“At graduation, your boss and I
“Will have a little talk.”
Well the principal’s salary
Is based on graduation rate
So he waived Timmy’s missing stuff
And got thanked by the state.
Timmy is a graduate.
The principal got paid.
Society got a synoym
For “screwed” and “loved” and “laid.”
Filed under Poems
Goldreck The Obtuse Didn’t Apply His Social Emotional Learning Outcomes
Today I learned in school
That everyone’s equally cool
So I wore my knickerbocker.
Now I’m cool inside my locker.
Filed under Poems
Meaning? Maybe. Rhymes? Absolutely!
There once was a dame with no name
Who spent days playing a lame game.
Her tame claim to fame came
When her aim to blame the same game
Overcame her shame of being no-name.
Filed under Poems
Also, Unpaid Overtime!
Getting a promotion
Is a matter of pretending
That you listen to that guy
At weekly meetings never-ending.
Your reward for your attention
Is a minor bump in pay
And the new and useful privilege
Of having meetings every day.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 