She asked “You know what makes me smile?”
I said “Muscles in your face.”
She hasn’t smiled for a while
And says she Needs some space…”
Tag Archives: Stupid
Advice To Passive-Aggressive Discussers Of All Things Political
Instead of intelligent conjecture
Or giving your opponent a lecture…
Just say “Hitler was right”
And boom! Have a fight.
Filed under Poems
Another Once-Great Species Ruined
There once was an African lion
Who was handsome and noble and clever.
He wanted his head to be put on a wall
So he could be admired forever.
Alas, some American vegans
Made a law that to hunt him was banned
So know he stays home in the evenings
And watches MGM films on demand.
Filed under Poems
It Started So Well…
You need rain to make a rainbow.
You need rain to make a plant grow.
You need rain to have water fall from the sky
And that, gals and gents, is how inspirational quotes die.
Filed under Poems
Bad Parental Advice
I did something stupid.
They asked “why did you?
“If your parents where lemmings
Would you be one too?”
Filed under Poems
War Isn’t So Bad…
We’ve walked among some Autumn glades
Just us and the wind from the helicopter blades.
Falling gently to the ground
Are a leaf and some limbs and an M16 round.
A quaint little creek
Glitters bright mountain green
And, despite all our blood,
Is still cool fresh and clean.
We came here to camp,
Found these meadows to walk,
Because some old men
Wouldn’t sit down and talk,
But we can take solace
And our hearts can still sing
All thanks to the peace
That our murder will bring.
Filed under Poems
Shucka-Shucka-Sucka! (Shucks?)
I once knew a Moroccan
Who thought that I was shockin’.
I gave him a shake
To see what sound he’d make
And he said “That’s a maraca, dumbass!”
Filed under Poems
Thanks, Arbitrary Statistics!
A minute with me
Is an hour in Heaven,
But no woman will know
‘Cause I’m five-foot-eleven.
Filed under Poems
Meanwhile Someone Is Eating Water And Watching Their IQ Rise
The roses are dead.
The violets are too.
Someone swapped the water
With adhesive glue.
Filed under Poems
😎 and 🦑 are 🥇 right now
We’ve seen names with apostrophes
And names that lack a vowel.
We have seen surnameless names
Like Retta, Link, and Farrel.
We’ve seen whatever Prince’s name
Had been known as previously.
I just hope I get to be the first
To name a kid with an Emoji.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 