If you commit a crime
Don’t record it on your phone
Because Siri’s always watching
Even though you are alone
And in court she’ll testify
And show you she means business
Because if Siri’s anything
She’s a certified iWitness.
Tag Archives: Travesty
1st Graders And I Have This In Common
Haikus are very
Very very very ver
Y easy to write
Filed under Poems
All I Need Is A $250-Million Government Grant
I want to start a charity
Where blind and deaf people come
And I describe to them how food tastes
‘Cause I’m hungry and I’m dumb.
Filed under Poems
But They’re So Big!
I think if we sold ostrich eggs
Instead of chicken eggs, we’d find
That what I think’s a good idea
Is not what anyone else had in mind.
Filed under Poems
Unbearable
If you say “I pike pandas” everyone smiles
If you say “I don’t like koalas” that’s fine
Say what you want about grizzlies and polars
But you mention the blacks and they lose their minds…
Filed under Poems
Now They’ve Even Surrendered To Themselves…
There once was a city in France
That was known for its light and romance.
Then the mideast said “Holla”
And immigrated with Allah
And we know now who’s wearing the pants.
Filed under Poems
Also, We Had To Use The Pythagorean Theorem To Calculate Burrowing Speed, So We Are Nerdier Than Thee
We stayed up late
Playing D&D.
Yay for my players
But woe for readers (aka thee).
Filed under Poems
Geolo-Gee Whiz!
They say imitation is the highest form of flattery
But I’m not sure about that though;
In my opinion, the highest form of flattery
Would have to be a plateau.
Filed under Poems
What Google Taught Me About History
The dinosaurs roamed the earth
Until God said “Here’s Wifi”
And then they stopped jumping cactuses
And proceeded to die.
Filed under Poems
But Hey, Four Rhymes!
As the sun sets in the evening
And the frogs croak merrily
I sit upon a bed and write
A poem, verily.
When read aloud it would be best
To speak most airily
For the effort I put in could be
Described as “barely”.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 