Go big or go home?
Suffice to say I am not
Fond of going big.
Tag Archives: Truth
The First Packaging Scam
We complain about shrinkflation
Like half-empty bags of chips
Or getting a 15-ounce container
With just 12 ounces of dips
And yet for all my lifetime
We’ve still bought those honey bears
And you can’t squeeze honey through their neck
But no one really cares…
Filed under Poems
There Will Be Signs…
If I ever say
“Let’s play some Monopoly”
I’ve been body-snatched.
Filed under Poems
Where Do The Colonists Sign Up?
So when you die the tax man comes
To take of your estate
While you pay tax on a hospital bill,
Pine box, and granite slate,
Then wear taxed clothes to the funeral.
You’ll arrive in taxed-gas powered cars
Which is why I will die as an astronaut:
‘Cause there’s no taxes yet on Mars.
Filed under Poems
Wait… Did The French Just Surrender To Tourists?
So the Louvre closed its doors today
Which is how Mona Lisa would say
“Je ne t’aime pas
“Alors au revoir.”
(And yes, those do rhyme by the way)
Filed under Poems
And For June’s Bingo Card…
Donald and Elon sitting in a tree
T.W… oops… X.I.N.G.
First come threats
War comes later
And wait, is that Kanye playing mediator?
Filed under Poems
It Rhymes With Duck (And It’s One Of The Words Timmy CAN Spell)
Timmy was a troubled child
Who wouldn’t do his work.
When Timmy didn’t pass his class
His mom became a jerk
And met with Timmy’s principal:
“If Timmy doesn’t walk
“At graduation, your boss and I
“Will have a little talk.”
Well the principal’s salary
Is based on graduation rate
So he waived Timmy’s missing stuff
And got thanked by the state.
Timmy is a graduate.
The principal got paid.
Society got a synoym
For “screwed” and “loved” and “laid.”
Filed under Poems
On The Devaluation Of Currency And Its Indirect Consequences To Tourism And Related Industries (Or: Time To Invest In Fountains, As The Price Of Wishes Just Went Up 400%)
I sing of a coin called a penny
Whose value was just less than “any”.
It was cash, free and legal, and yet it
Was not worth the effort to get it.
If it’s true what the president hinted
No longer will such coins be minted
And I for one ponder this pickle:
Will folks still pay for a souvenir nickel?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 